Tuesday, February 26, 2008

The way to health is to be Open

There is someone whom my mom dubbed "teenage star" and rightfully so. Although the person is over 40, they hang out with 20 yr olds, do late teenage kinds of things like parties and concerts, and dress and behave as if they just that age when they are old enough to drive and go out at night and they DO!

So, anyways, I had a brief feeling that the teenage star was after me. It is very difficult to figure out when a teenager is after you, because they don't talk. They kinda hang around you, coming closer physically, but never talk to you. If I smile, they come closer. If I frown, they go away further. I suppose they are not really skilled in talking, and are very skilled in physical attraction.

Well, more mature people - like myself :) - I am not giving away my age though :) are into talking. That is what makes a relationship interesting and meaningful - sharing, talking things over, and growing together. Yes of course the physical is there too, but it's not THE most important thing. It is the spice in the soup, makes the dish tasty. The spiritual connection is the dish. That's the basis. The spices need the main dish, we cannot eat just the spices alone.... The dish has to be there first.

Talking is necessary because that is a way to share and grow. Especially when problems and issues arise. That's where "marriage is the hardest form of yoga". To hang in there and be honest and be gentle and communicate with another from the open heart is NOT exactly the easiest thing in the world, and yet, it is necessary. Our partners are there so that we can Work on ourselves.

Recently I was fortunate to be in a relationship like that and it was very nice. It builds trust and a very deep connection, and then it is extremely productive for self growth. The subjects we talked about and issues we have resolved made us grow and blossom very quickly. There was no fear of saying "I love you" and actually living that. That's a mature partner, an adult man. (well until it got to truly difficult questions :) and he bailed out in a jiffy. I am very good at asking difficult questions :)

A while ago there was a young male who ( misjudged my age - I look kinda young) and went after me, and that was educational. He was baiting me strictly on his physical attributes, and the only way to respond would be in kind. Well, what happens when that kind of flair is gone? Poooof! The whole relationship is gone. I'd say, it would last about .... a month or two? and that's it....

Then there are older people who are young inside and bait you silently but then it is too subtle and can be easily just ignored. If they don't talk to you, then .... of course they are not giving themselves away and wont' lose anything, but on the other hand, they won't gain even a friend or a positive experience of getting to know someone whom they liked.

And maybe they are afraid to risk and have the object of admiration make fun of them and reject them. I suppose most people will do that. I _try not to. It is humiliating, so I try to be very kind and extra respectful to those who are brave enough to state they like me. Maybe it doesn't look that way to those who are interested, though.

On the other hand, when they do become a friend, like it happened to me once, then they might have higher inspirations although it is not possible to carry it through. And then they might feel hurt at the end no matter what.

Hm, this is not easy.... The only way to proceed is with extreme respect and kindness. And a lot of forgiveness.

Where I see this at play in my practice is that this comes through bodies I work on. A person who is tight emotionally will have a tight body. The heart is closed so the chest is tight, the blood sugar levels are not working perfect, the adrenals are exausted, .... People who are really scared will have even worse problems, like drugs or drinking, etc..

Fortunately or unfortunately, the only way to truly be healthy is to be OPEN on all levels, to have integrity and courage, and to be genuinely ourselves.

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