Sunday, November 9, 2008
being present
Recently, because of rather tough external circumstances, I have been practicing being present, being connected with myself, being myself, being in touch with myself, being in the moment, - whatever you want to call it.
What it feels like is me being connected to something inside me that Knows.
So then I never leave that Something Higher, I am always paying attention to it, listening, being connected, being in touch.
It is like .... going on a date, or having a child. It is an accute sense of being WITH someone and ***paying attention to them***. That someone feels like Me, just much more sensitive and much wiser. Or whatever it is - expressing through me.
What I have discovered is that most "ordinary" emotions just do not exist in this state. I cannot feel sad or angry or bitching or whatever. I just AM. Peaceful and content, quietly happy. As soon as I put my attention on myself, then I become very clear, content, satisfied, and peaceful. No matter what is happening! Even if it is something "bad" somehow my REACTION is still peaceful and I am clear, NOT INVESTED.
I observed that those "regular" negative emotions come when I am pulled away from Myself, when my attention goes away from me and totally focuses on something external.
Then I lose this sense of presence and then there is no more "me", I simply cease to exist, being devoured and lost in the chasm of sending all my life force to someone or something else.
What it feels like is me being connected to something inside me that Knows.
So then I never leave that Something Higher, I am always paying attention to it, listening, being connected, being in touch.
It is like .... going on a date, or having a child. It is an accute sense of being WITH someone and ***paying attention to them***. That someone feels like Me, just much more sensitive and much wiser. Or whatever it is - expressing through me.
What I have discovered is that most "ordinary" emotions just do not exist in this state. I cannot feel sad or angry or bitching or whatever. I just AM. Peaceful and content, quietly happy. As soon as I put my attention on myself, then I become very clear, content, satisfied, and peaceful. No matter what is happening! Even if it is something "bad" somehow my REACTION is still peaceful and I am clear, NOT INVESTED.
I observed that those "regular" negative emotions come when I am pulled away from Myself, when my attention goes away from me and totally focuses on something external.
Then I lose this sense of presence and then there is no more "me", I simply cease to exist, being devoured and lost in the chasm of sending all my life force to someone or something else.
Labels: being present
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