Sunday, November 9, 2008

being present

Recently, because of rather tough external circumstances, I have been practicing being present, being connected with myself, being myself, being in touch with myself, being in the moment, - whatever you want to call it.

What it feels like is me being connected to something inside me that Knows.

So then I never leave that Something Higher, I am always paying attention to it, listening, being connected, being in touch.

It is like .... going on a date, or having a child. It is an accute sense of being WITH someone and ***paying attention to them***. That someone feels like Me, just much more sensitive and much wiser. Or whatever it is - expressing through me.

What I have discovered is that most "ordinary" emotions just do not exist in this state. I cannot feel sad or angry or bitching or whatever. I just AM. Peaceful and content, quietly happy. As soon as I put my attention on myself, then I become very clear, content, satisfied, and peaceful. No matter what is happening! Even if it is something "bad" somehow my REACTION is still peaceful and I am clear, NOT INVESTED.

I observed that those "regular" negative emotions come when I am pulled away from Myself, when my attention goes away from me and totally focuses on something external.

Then I lose this sense of presence and then there is no more "me", I simply cease to exist, being devoured and lost in the chasm of sending all my life force to someone or something else.

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