Thursday, January 17, 2008

Healing sinuses holistically

All my life I suffered from sinus infections. The infection starts in the nose, then the goo drips down the throat, and causes throat infection, which can then infect the tonsils and/or the bronchii and lungs. If there are no tonsils, the infection would go straight for the chest and could cause bronchitis. Also, it can go the other way - start from sore throat and then spread into sinuses. For some people, it can spread into ears too. Living in a very poluted city, coal soot all over, as a child I used to have sinus infections and bronchitis once or twice per year.... It would be a gruesome experience, with yellow green pus all over, fever, headache, not being able to breathe and move, feeling so weak, ..... With antibiotics, penicilin shots even... Nothing helped, no vitamins, etc. Until my auntie took me to the mountains in the winter time, TO FRESH AIR AND LOTS OF BREATHING, which totally cleared my sinuses, literally overnight. After that, I learned the trick and kept myself healthy, for the most part. I never let it get to bronchitis anymore. I did have some sinus infections still.

I noticed that the dust and mold or some other infection gets my sinuses infected. Somehow, when something gets in there, it doesn't come out properly, but stays and causes trouble. It seems purely a mechanical problem, like something physically doesn't "fit" quite properly so sinuses cannot clean themselves well. It also seemed to happen when my immune system was low and I was under stress. Discovering neti pot and cleaning sinuses with salty water saved me. Living by the sea and swimming in salt water totally eliminated the problems - except for those periods when I don't go into the water for some reason (e.g. rain, etc.)

Anyways, my parents recently came for a visit. My mother criticized my massage business, which she thinks is not prestigious enough, and got me totally worried about my ability to attract customers while this monster is living in my house and sucking my confidence dry. I promptly developed a sinus infection, just like I did in childhood. The infection did not get terrible because:

I did Hawai'ian ho'oponopono (forgiveness and cleansing practice) to forgive my mother and myself, and to move on. That did wonders - all of the sudden, my parents didn't matter anymore. I became immune to their sniveling.
I breathed through the nose although the temptation was to breathe through the mouth.
I really paid attention to breathing and letting air everywhere.
I smiled. I noticed that that opens the sinuses and makes them air better.
I drank lots of freshly squeezed lemon, which shrinks the tissues.
And rinsed the sinuses a lot with salty water.

It was an amazing experience! What usually turns into a terrible infection was not bad at all. I was congnizant at all times. I treated my parents nicely. I treated myself pretty nicely.

I thought about "something doesn't physically fit properly". Back then as a child, I had no clue about holistic health. My parents had no clue. Heck, even now, they did not notice that I was sneazing or using my henkie. When I said I had trouble, they brushed it off as "allergy". But to me it definitely felt like tight muscles squeezing something too tightly and causing a clog. I always had a tight neck and tight jaw. As a bodyworker, I was sure the tight neck was causing something off in the head arrangement to somehow "close up" the sinuses. So, I had a chiropractor adjust me, but my neck was still stiff... Then, I worked on my own neck and made something release and relax, and LO AND BEHOLD, the sinus infection was gone overnight!!!!

Then I noticed that my jaw relaxed. It was in the position of "snarling" or wanting to bite, with front teeth exposed and lower jaw pulled back. I was amazed to discover this... That's the physical result of being angry at someone. That's why meditation and calming down and forgiveness practice works in healing.

And it feels sooooooo good to have my good health and breathing back!!! I appreciate it so dearly.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Parents as a damaging force

Today I (rather proudly) told my mother that I have worked quite a lot this week and had many satisfied clients. I also drove far away to the city on 3 days, helped out at my favorite school, taught a class, and went out with friends. I was out on 2 late nights and spent 2 days away from home working. It was a BUSY week! So today I slept in and it felt luxurious to just lounge around, not having to go anywhere. It would have been nice to even have a boyfriend...

So I said to my mom: "I slept late today. This week I had many clients!" and she said in a very impatient, surly way: "Sure, but see how tired you got?"

And I just stood there speechless. This woman obviously has NO interest in helping me grow my business. Zero, ziltch, nothing. She never said a word when I was truly complaining and falling flat on my face during my engineering years. Because, engineering was something she could boast about to the neighbors. She thinks my massage business sucks. That it is not prestigious, etc. She doesn't like it, in short. WOW!!!

And this monster kid and her equally rude companion, my father, will be in my house for a month. Can I withstand their assaults? I will have to stand for myself big time.... They don't believe in me. I will have to believe in me and find other people to support me.

Ok, a big test ahead!

Anger is really hot...

In Chinese medicine based on Five Element theory, which we use in shiatsu, they say that anger affects the liver. That it produces heat. Modern science even says that the chemicals produced by anger are proven to be poisonous, and that one anger has enough poison to kill a small gunea pig. Wow. That's why cancer patients are usually suffering from too much anger - it is poison that kills them eventually. That's why metaphysics says: anger is like trying to kill someone else but instead killing yourself.

OK. That's cool. I can read about it in the books, but do I really know this from personal experience?

Several weeks ago a business person fell for their personal preferences and treated me rather rudely. I could feel my stomach churning, literally, turning upside down repeatedly, like a miniature washing machine. I could feel my head and neck tighten, and my hand get into a fist. I could feel my teeth clenching and getting ready to bite. Like an animal snarling and getting ready to pounce to kill you.

Last weekend someone made me angry. I could feel heat inside my body. I could feel how every cell got hot and ... dry! Parched dry. In a very short bit, I was dehydrated, and there was nothing that could replenish me. I was observing it and finally sat to meditate, and that healed it.

Finally, the last piece was to think about the experiences and figure out where I stand. Where I stand is that being angry is hurting ME. They have no clue about true human relationships and really do not care about how I feel anyways. I am not going to be educating them in any way, they don't care. So, why even bother feeling angry? It is the same thing as Jesus being hung up. They have no clue what they are doing. I reminisced about this a lot. Held miniature ho'onoponoponos (mediation and forgiveness practice).

Intellectually, I can totally understand where those people are coming from. They have been abused themselves, and thus are perpetrating the abuse where they can. They cannot help it, they do NOT know about Love. They just blindly go.

And I, as a healer and a human being who had to overcome the same cycle, should be able to understand and forgive. It is my job to try to heal the situation, because I am the one who has the understanting and the training to attempt it. I won't succeed every time, since I am only human, but I will set my intent, try, and ask God for help.

What those people are really asking for is help. They are asking for a different treatment. They are so used to being hit that someone turning the other cheak will totally shock them. They are expecting either to be hit back or to be submitted to. No....

A true human relationship is based on equality.

Also, discipline. I am not going to cater to anyone. A true human relationship is based on Truth.

Also, kindness. I am not going to be rude and exclude anyone. A true human relationship is based on Consideration.

So, can I live this? I will see, the next time. Sometimes the best way to deal with something is to walk away. Sometimes the best way is to ignore it.


PS - Why did I get so angry? I was in a class and whatever I said was brushed off in a rather rude way by the teachers, and after a point I could feel that I was attacked, and it was not pleasant. For example, I asked a question and it wasn't answered. The teacher likes to play aloof and condescending in class, for example by not really answering the questions, and likes to blame it on students for not studying. He openly tells us that his class is so small because he demands a lot. Bologney. It is a plain lie to himself first, not worthy of being a teacher. I do not like hearing such lies. His assistant teaches another similar class and LOVES to be the center of attention, and will fight for it. She is very carefull to "kiss ass where it counts and to kick ass where she can." She likes guys better :) For some reason, she thinks I am not important and she is often rude to me. So, when the two of them get together "up front on stage" and misuse the class for just showing off in front of everyone, kinda holding us off by a 5-ft pole, it is kinda ... immature. Something they cannot help. The class is pretty good and it is THE ONLY class on this island, so... one has to forgive them their childishness and press on with the class. Oh well. That's what living in the islands mean - there is often no other place to go. My choices are to try to kiss ass, which I won't; or to leave; or to just be there for the class and ignore the rudeness. Which is what I usually do, beacause I am there for the class. I gave up the people part a long time ago. Their world is not something I wish to be in, because it is based on impressing, kissing ass, and all other rather immature and boring useless stuff imo.

Why did they make me angry this time? This time I was very aware what kinds of feelings is produced by hanging out around them. It is not pleasant. One doesn't feel valued. They as teachers are expecting the class to feed them, so it is not a good teaching style. The students are there not to be fed, either, but to be given something that the teacher can freely share. In that sharing there is a productive exchange.

As for the business associate, what made me angry is that a certain amount of ass kissing was expected, and that amount was way more than I think is healthy. I wasn't going to go with that. I understand respect, and I understand business. When I pay for something, I am not going to "be nice" and let the merhant get away with murder and not deliver me the goods. In this case, I complained about bad arrangement and thus the merchant refused to proceed doing business with me. Oh well!!!! Again, this is an island, so the merchant is counting on basically blackmailing me and twisting my arm to play the game on their term. Well, there are some terms I consider fair and some I consider illegitimate. The lesson I learned in this encounter is how to be very very careful around crocodiles. I could have gotten something if I had been less vocal. Then I would have avoided the experience of being treated badly and dealing with the aftermath of it. However, I spoke up, and that shook the boat. The Truth came out. I am too good at digging out the Truth... Most people are so weak that it is not too difficult to dig anything. The dirt is too close to the surface. Their egos are too fragile. Only an advanced being is not exposed easily. I really need to remember this more often and treat people in gloves. Also, the mistake I have made is to be affected by this person treating me badly, and starting to wish to retaliate. That's the bad, dark part. That wish to retaliate is against God, as this other person is also God's creation, and thus the wish to destroy God is going to destroy me, so I better give it up.

No, this is not about saving my ass. It is, on one level, of course. It is also about Doing The Right Thing. Maybe I don't feel true comradery with this person, and maybe they are a jerk, and maybe they need more discipline and business sense, and maybe to learn some business lessons too. In any case, I should not take it personally. Even if I have to teach some lessons and get back to them, it has to be done from the sense of fairness, not trying to destroy them but rather trying to educate them. Even if I have to "destroy" them, e.g. maybe boycott their business, like Mohamad went to the Holly War, or Arjuna went to war to defend, it has to be done from a sense of impersonal fairness and

DOING THE RIGHT THING.

Just like disciplining children - when they do something nasty, you don't beat the daylights out of them and curse them and try to crush them. You first try talking, educating, etc. If you have to spank them and act angry, then it is done lightly and without being inwardly angry.

Friday, January 4, 2008

Ego experiences...

A chiropractor yanked my neck and hurt it. I am still trying to fix it. Plus another sports injury. I went to the chiropractor who was "the best" in 2006, my friend recommended him.

The first visit was free, just diagnosis, and I was impressed, the guy knew his anatomy and diagnosed quite well.

The first treatment was 44$ for about 10-15mins. It was my 2nd appointment. today. His secretary gave me relief vs correction booklet while I was waiting. He took me in, sat me down, asked how I felt last week, I said that symptom X is greatly helped, symptom Y got worse, and symptom Z got better and then came back. He didn't even comment on that. Instead, he started going over the booklet and all my symptoms and asking me what I plan to do, relief or correction. And there was nothing tangible that he was asking me to do - there was no treatment plan, or estimates of how it is going. Gosh we don't even know yet how well his treatment works for me! It was just a sales pitch. It felt like intimidation. I said, well, this is only my 2nd appointment, let's see how this thing works, first the pain has to go away and then I will know where we stand. I'd like to totally correct it but it's too early to tell. I will just come here week after week and we will see where we get. I was not arrogant or anything. I was very reasonable and calm. There was absolutely nothing that should have angered him. I was telling something obvious.

Gosh, he was furious!!! Visibly so. I almost walked out, thinking that someone so angry is not going to treat me properly. I stayed and he did treat me relatively neutrally. I was a little scared, and his touch didn't feel exactly centered. I told him where it was tight and he started fixing it. He totally missed it in his diagnosis and it was very important, because I was so tight he could not do any adjustments. That's 's why the last time he made my symptom Y worse, because I was too tight and he yanked and made it tighter.

His secretary didn't treat me well when I walked out, he told her something. Well, this doesn't look good to me. Guy has some competence, no question. He doesn't seem to want to work WITH the patient but OVER the patient. I will see how it goes.The last time I knew that symptom Y got worse with his adjustment, and I told him, but he didn't want to listen to me, kept on telling over me that it went great. No it didn't! I CAN FEEL MY BODY. I don't need him to tell me how something feels. It felt wrong and it was wrong. The thing that was necessary to be fixed first is what I told him tonight. There are a few more things that need to be fixed next. I don't know how to fix them and that's why I came to him.

His booklet wants you to commit for 3-5 months. I suppose that's how he makes the bulk of his money.

Also, he doesn't prescribe any homework. That's a bad sign. I want to do something for myself, not wait for him to fix me and keep on going to him. Last time I asked about it and he said that he will give me some when he learns more about me. He sounded surprised to be asked that.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

For Mel:

I already locally have messages on bulletin boards, flyers, newspaper add, yellow pages, etc. I even paid 250$ for an Internet add on a local site, and got one call from it.... The only good thing is that the owner referred me orally to her friend, so that recouped the money. I also paid 150$ for a small expo and at least recovered the investment. I will try a magazine add this year, that's another 300$, a big expo, another 300$, and Holistic Hawaii web listing.

I also paid 250$ for yellow pages internet add, which produced ZERO response although it was on the top of the listing. It doesn't even come up in google... Luckily, they put it wrong, so I just canceled it. Otherwise, it would have been 200$ per month for nothing. The paper yellow pages is 50$ per month and nobody called me on that either.

Because I am in a small tourist town, with 1000000000 other massage therapists, fortunately, most of them are not good, it is well known that North Shore has lousy massage, but people won't know that until they try it, and also some people don't care and cannot recognize a good massage, they want something else - flirting, hanging out with someone cool, talking interesting stuff, being pampered, being catered to, playing the boss, having some authority "fix" them, an escape from life, taking a nap somewhere, playing rich, etc. People who want it all looking good and playing rich and really don't care for the massage, go to a spa. People who want someone "interesting" go to a dude with funky looking hair and free-looking lifestyle. Lots of women go there. Surfers go to their surf friends. A lot of men go to the lady therapist who works in a spaghetti strap top. And so on. Well, to everyone their own. Luckily there are enough types of people, there is something for everyone.

My work is focused on treatment. I tend to work with people who want a truly remodeling massage with health benefits, with self introspection, self awareness, education, and all that jazz. My service is not really just massage, but a whole healing package. It's about God in everything.

The down part of that is people may not want that, because they are complacent and it looks too hard. So I get a lot of clients with injuries and that's how people are kicked in the butt to start the healing process, which translates into their whole life. So far I was kinda quiet about what I really do but it would be better if it were conscious on the client part.

Most people are completely asleep and unaware, and those won't like my work. Only someone who is beginning to wake up, who has some inkling, some affinity for being real. I am very low key and it is hard to detect me, so only someone who has Some Calling in their heart will be able to find me. It is pretty amazing what that can look like, my clients range from lawyers to plumbers, but they are all quite some characters. They THINK for themselves, which imo is a high accomplishment. Also, they are able to reflect deeply and from the heart. They are real, in short. They already schine, I just help them polish.

So, to me, it is a priviledge to hang out with my clients, because they are cool, truly cool. Not because they look cool or are this or that, but because they are cool people inside, with brains and hearts that they DO use. Way cool!

My younglest client is 2 years old, and has big brown eyes full of stars. The oldest is about 80some and is as sharp as you can imagine.

Anatomy trains

I am my own guinea pig for the massage moves. So:

I worked on the quad lamborum and released a couple of tight spots. Just a slight change in that released the entire lower back...

I worked on gastric and then soleus. The particular stretch for the soleus is extermely effective. I held it for a while, enough to let the myofascial release happen. I could feel the muscle just let go... And that changed something in my mid back on the same side of the body! That area also let go... And it took me a whole day to readjust to my "new body". The entire back felt so much looser and longer.

Now let's hit the books to find out what this means :) There are classes in anatomy trains too.

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