Monday, August 25, 2008

White winged buffalo massage

A lady came to see me, and I asked what shall we work on. She said that her friend had a great lomilomi massage and she felt something release and leave her calves and she cried, and the therapist told her that was anger from her childhood. So, my client wanted a similar experience to release her old stuff. I understood her desire to have this freeing experience, and also I suspected her desire to have this "special" shortcut that she could talk about later.

I asked her: so where do you feel that old stuff? She said she didn't know.
I asked: how will you know that it got released? She said she wouldn't know.
I asked: how did that therapist know it was childhood anger? Who is so mighty that they can see so deeply and be so sure and even tell the patient so confidently?
I asked was the friend transformed by this experience?

I explained that good bodywork certainly releases stuff, and it is possible to cry and have this exalted experience, but that it is not guaranteed as each massage is different for each person and every time. It is also possible to have a quiet enjoyable experience and just feel happy and somehow slightly different, and that's what we are really after. This slight, immesurable, happy transformation inside. No matter how we get there. Maybe with crying, maybe with laughing, maybe with falling asleep, maybe with deeply relaxing and enjoying, maybe with talking. In any case, we are somehow transformed, deeply and irreversibly.

This transformation is something that you don't have to brag about. Something that is not told to friends as a story. Soemthing that doesn't have labels and scenarios we are SO sure about - aha this is childhood anger. Aha, this is divorce. Aha, this is...

As soon as we start labeling, it is all in our heads. And that is just pouring from "empty into nothing" as we say in Serbian. The head talks to itself.

We try to stay open and keep transforming, like a caterpillar into a butterfly.

Attemting to be in the moment, to be Real, to be genuine. No drama, no labeling, no judging, no stories. Just As It Is.

What am I really like, right now?

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Friday, August 22, 2008

energy work in spa setting

I heard that a resort spa made their massage therapists take a short class (probably a few hours) in some "energy techniques" taught by a local "shaman" and is allowing the therapists to do that on spa guests.

Wow!!!!

Energy work is for someone who is highly trained and capable to do it. There are so many dangers in doing energy work without really knowing what one is doing. Because, energy work is in the realm of shaman. There are all kinds of physical and non-physical entities that are involved in energy work. Only someone who has very very extensive training in a well established and "clean" lineage AND is constantly supervised by the elders AND lives a very pure and spiritual life maybe could try doing some energy work, with very extensive preparation, prayer, etc.

Doing energy work without proper training and preparation is like giving a gun to a kid. It is just plain dangerous. It is calling for spiritual possessions, opening holes in auric field, and all kinds of stuff like that. Those things can happen anywhere anyways if one is careless, but *****meddling into them intentionally**** is really asking for trouble.

One cannot know what the story is with a massage establishment, the only thing one can do is FEEL the vibe of the place and the therapist. If it doesn't feel right, run.

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Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Failure as incentive to grow

This is a great blog post:

Benefits of Failure:
http://sandiego.jobing.com/blog_post.asp?post=12185

She talks about failures as incentives to learn and grow. Yes, indeed, from my own personal experience!

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Saturday, August 9, 2008

What is God?

If I believe that God is ravengeful, and thus I fear God, what will my life be like?

Then I will worry only about my own survival and no matter what I do, I will make sure that my butt is not kicked.

If I believe that God is my best friend, a loving disciplinarian, a very loving all-knowing all-mighty ... parent, really, a Super Perfect Parent that always means me well, always schedules me perfectly, always takes care of me, never lets me off the hook, and is always there for me - then what will my life be like?

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Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Do I fear God, or not?

Once upon a time, I had a boyfriend who was a hard core "Christian" meaning he went to church and bought everything line, hook and sinker, thinking he was Born Again superhero, and that showed - he was so closed off, so frozen, so distant and so incapable of relating that we had to part asap.

At the end we "debriefed" and that's how I finally heard this from him:

>YES, I FEAR GOD.

My response was:
That's it!!!! That is the most fundamental difference between you and me, and that's why we are alien species. I do NOT fear God. I wish I could say I love God, that is my intent, but I am sure I fall short of it. I do try. To me, God is something that helps me. It can play tricks on me and will never let me go astray, but I do not fear that. It is always done with a loving hand, like a good parent. If it has me grounded, I still feel loved and taken care of. In short, I feel like I am good buddies with God, I feel like he is a very loving and very disciplining force in my life and I believe that I am always, always protected and taken care of. God watches over me and makes sure I am ok. I have absolutely no fear of God. I KNOW God is something very very good.This to me is something I don't have to think about, it is on cellular level, I just know very deeply that God is somethign extremely positive that I can trust unconditionally and that always works for my good.

I don't fear my teachers either, although they set me up and caused me tremendous suffering in a very real and hillariously comical way. It was all good. It was done with a very good intent and in a very benevolent way. They never ask me to do what I cannot.

I BELIEVE THAT GOD IS GOOD, that He means me well, and that we are friends. To me, God is like a good parent, I trust Him unconditionally and I believe that he always takes care of me in the most loving way. There is no fear whatsoever. God wants me to be happy and serve His Kingdom, and He always puts me exactly where I need to be.

And you with your fear are totally frozen. Your church propagates that fear, it teaches you fear, it wants you in fear, because then you are controllable, full of guilt, full of fear, very easy to manipulate. You can never think for yourself and you can never feel and follow your heart. So, you have to obey them. Easy.

You believe you feel something which you don't. In some ways, the feeling of love is waking up in you. For someone who is so entrenched into believing in fear, it is rather difficult to defrost and feel love and all the things it brings, like care, consideration, etc. You are an expert in all things based on fear - rejection, distance, pride, lies, hypocrisy, guilt, anxiety, etc.

What you thought was "love" wasn't really love because it wasn't enough to melt away the fear. One day you will love soemthing enough to actually move beyond fear. Like I love my cat.

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