Friday, October 31, 2008

christian votes

I said to one of my friends:

whew, can you imagine what a Born Again Christian believes in! Like Jesus is THE ONLY way to God, we are not children of God and will go to hell if we don't accept Jesus as savior and Bible as the ultimate and only authority. and so on.

She said: yes, christians... they are so afraid. They are afraid they will go to hell.

That sums it up in just one sentence.

Later she added: what worries me is christian votes - their church makes them vote a certain way...

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Friday, October 24, 2008

language as expression of "insides"

English has "cooing" words like babe, honey, sweetie, sweetie pie, baby, dear, darling.

Serbian has so many more nice words for cooing to each other and calling each other. The words can be used for children too, they are all heart words. So one call call another: my heart, soul, gold, eye, pupil of my eye, lamb, chick, kitty, doggy, tom cat, etcand of course dear, darling, etc.

Most words can be made into cooing words in Serbian. For example, if you call someone "my eyelashes" with the right intonation, it means "darling", baby, etc. The intonation would determine the meaning, so it can be used for a child as well as some stud lover. The intent is just to show the warmth from the heart and "pet" someone else, make it nice for them. So many other words can be used... Serbian has deminutive which makes words into "cute". For example, the word "eye" when put into demininutive has a very cooey application. There are words which mean nothing but are cooing words, like Mica. One can call a cat like that.

English seems rather poor in comparison.
Babe is definitely sexy - it is what one would call Marylin Monroe or some stud guy...Honey is nice, I like that. Sweetie is a little too smoochey for me :) I like darling. My handyman called me that and I like the sound of it. A pen pal called me dear a long time ago and then stopped :) It was nice while it lasted.

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Thursday, October 23, 2008

Funny cartoons

For fun lovers:

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the two most important things

Love God with all your heart, your mind and your soul.

Love thy neighbor as thyself.

Here it is, the entire Christianity at a glance. Accidentally, this is the entire muslim, Hindu, etc etc religions too.

All true religions ultimately teach only this.

Because, there is only one God.

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Wednesday, October 22, 2008

living fully

My pretty blonde neighbor is just gone to the beach with her dog and a guy. I haven't seen her husband for a month... He was plain rude and selfish and nasty, treated her pretty disrespectfully, and I was wondering how she could tolerate him. Yeah, he was handsome and charming, according to some standards, but not to mine :) He would blast his TV set with all windows open, we would complain and he would send us neighbors to hell.... Then we would call the manager and he'd hear the manager coming and turn the volume down... then back up as soon as the manager left.... Just before he disappeared, he was unusually quiet, and I was thinking maybe he straightened out and became considerate? good job! but then he disappeared and this other guy visits.

Anyways, I was admiring how she handled it - putting music on with "love is in the air", singing, cleaning her house, her new beau and she took the dog to the beach....

I need to be more like her, happy, positive and proactive. Life is to be enjoyed.

getting clear; clarity

I was ranting and raging about the brain dead churchian, I felt very offended by his spitting at more consious humanity and his treatment of humans and God. I was wondering - why?

He said things like: Yogananda and Dalai Lama are not children of God and need to find a savior asap because they haven't accepted the bible christianity and Jesus as their savior;
that he understands how his belief that only his group is children of god is dissing all other people but too bad; and so on.

OK, so "Dalai Lama needs to be saved"... "Paramahansa Yogananda needs to be saved".... "Gurdjieff needs to be saved". ... How stupid is bible christianity?? How is it possible to be this disrespectful and brain dead? And plain violent... As if there are no saints but bible-based ones. THat is blashphemy. God is ONE, and so people are free to walk to God any way they choose.

The matter is that this brain dead churchian was physically and mentally almost dead when I first met him. We were classmates and became friends because he initiated it, he liked me, and I saw that he needed help. He was really in a sad state... I Worked with him and steered him into some more productive directions, and he bloomed. When he bloomed fine enough, that's when I noticed him as a potential mate. But it never worked out, because he kept on being stuck on the churchianity. And that oozes out of him as something scary. There is just something hard, cold, and evil that is inside and is felt as very uneasy creepiness. He mellowed a lot in time, but never to the end.

And that's why it really bugged me - this person was truely saved by contact with the concsious side of humanity. People like Yogananda and Gurdjieff saved his life, LITERALLY. In the time I knew him, exposure to these ideas and people who practice them made a lasting positive effect, that everyone noticed. And at the end - this person still spits on the hand that made him well in mere 2 years, and goes to side with his nazi separatist elitist church that almost killed him for 30 yrs. He is simply brainwashed. To the point that he is disrespecful and ungrateful.

Also, I realized that my own sense of uneasiness is extremely accurate. I learned to trust myself more. If I am angry, it means I am violated. If I feel uneasy, something is off.

Also, the whole encounter with this brain dead asleep thing was educational to show me where I am different. I took for granted so many things... thinking that many people have something in them that is normal to me. No, they do not.... I am somehow wired differently, with more ... hm... how shall I say it? tenacity, ability to take the truth, and grow.

For example, my idea of One God and everyone being a child of God, vs this brain dead person thinking that he has to belong to some special club and give them away his whole being in order to gain title of child of god. And that the title stays, no matter what he does, and the only thing that matters is life after death. That's why he belongs to this club. Jesus did all the work, so once you accept Jesus and get into the club, that's it, it's all done and set. And if you don't, then you go to hell, period.

My idea is that I live NOW, to the best of my ability, and keep on trying to Grow, by doing Inner Work and meditation and prayer. That spiritual life is lived today, right NOW, every moment, in mundane life. That my beliefs are shown through care, compassion, service, every day. Simple things, like listening to each other, taking others into consideration, doing my duties cheerfully and to the best of my ability, thinking about God as much as possible.

That all are children of God by default, God is All and Everything. There is nothing else but God.

Some children of God are problem children :) some are immature, some are mature, etc. But we all are under One God, indivisible and Whole. There are saints and sages of all religions. And it has to be that way, there are different kinds of people and a spiritual practice to suit everyone. All roads eventually lead to God. Some are dead ends and one has to jump to another path, some are slow, some are long, some are fast, ....

So it is helpful to me to more clearly see myself in comparison to this brain dead thing. On Earth, we are all a little crazy. My particular form of craziness seems to be what saints and sages and mystics advocate....

I am a mystic, a metaphysician, and a healer. Not everyone is, surprise surprise :) :) :) I thought they would be :) somehow what I believe in makes so much sense and is Truth. I guess I must be remembering God somehow, somehow I didn't entirely forget like some other people. It is amazing how much some people forgot. They forgot beyond decency. What the brain dead churchian believes is contrary to anything moral or decent - e.g. dissing other people as unworthy. Dissing Dalai Lama or Yogananda as incompetent is plain rude.

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Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Today is my birthday.

The brain dead churchian sent me a whole bunch of orhids with red roses. It looks pretty. It would be nice that he were that beautiful of a person too.

Churchians are master manipulators. Their world is completely made up of deceit. The only thing they are interested in is looking good....

sweet talking churchians vs Oneness of God

I talked and even dated this brain dead churchian for a while. I learned a lot from it. Especially now when he is gone and I feel so much better. Oppresive religious views are terrible drain on the psyche, because they are violent at the core, play on human sense of insecurity, guilt and fear, and force people into fakiness and deceit.

First, he can fake very well, and sweet talk it very well. There is a song: "the only boy who could ever teach me was the son of a preacherman" and that is completely true. That's how he slipped under the radar with me and kept me talking with him for a while. Until the truth came out :) I was uneasy and cautios from the start, because something just didn't seem right, and now I see clearly what it is, it is exposed in plain view.

Churchians are masters of faking it. Because their religion has things as "good" and "bad" and they are not supposed to do anything "bad", they are masters in fakiness and pretense and covering up. Second, churchians are plain evil. The world views that they have are about segregation and elitism, totally contrary to the Oneness of God.

Here are some world views they have:
- jesus suffered for our sins so we don't have to do anything - bible is the book of rules
- jesus is THE ONLY WAY to God
- we are just behaving now so that we can have eternal life
- when something is considered "bad" we pretend we are not doing it and we still do it
- the only people who go to god are the people who accept jesus


Wow. I take being a child of God for granted. I am a child of God, period. There is nothing that nobody has to force me to "pay" to be what I already am! By nature. By default!!!! Because, everything is God. So, me, other people, animals, Nature, plants, things, Moon, Sun, stars, Earth, ... everything, everything is God. THERE IS NOTHING ELSE BUT GOD.

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Sunday, October 19, 2008

the summary

FYI: my blog is at

The only good thing about me yelling at the brain dead Born Again Christian - remember that weirdo from California who was my boyfriend? Well he quit some weird things he was into, but he didn't quit Born Again church - so 2 weeks ago he gave me a speech about how Jesus is THE only way and Bible is THE thing to be obeyed verbatim, and I simply just "threw yogurt into his face" i.e. dumped him for good, after he stuck to that story for several weeks.

Anyways, dumping him made me do some research on Christianity, and rehook with Jesus.

Jacob Needleman wrote book "Lost Christianity".

nothing to do, nowhere to go, and womens' rights

I have traveled *a lot* - all the time - all over the world - before I came to Hawai'i. Now, I don't have any desire to travel. I only have a desire to stay home and live a boringly exciting family and community life. I have no desire to drive even to the other side of the island, I am still patrolling my "11 mile" radius around here and I am behind on that.

The only thing missing is a husband, or at least a boyfriend :) so that I can start living that dream. :)

Wow, you have travelled!

Depressing though that in all those places, practice is so far behind


-----Original Message-----
From: Milica Barjaktarovic

I grew up in communist Yugoslavia. So women on one hand were supposed to be
praised as "equal comrades" and on the other hand old stuff was rampant,
people would say: I have 3 kids and 2 daughters (meaning: daughters are not
kids). And things like: if you have a daughter, you are just raising someone
else's help (i.e she will get married and will serve her in-laws). And,
since women worked (in communism, it was encouraged, plus of course everyone
had to work in order to afford to live! housewives were a very rare
occurrence!), women ended up working for money full time AND also doing all
housework at home.

I was in England in 1990s for a short visit, after living in the USA for
like 20 yrs, and it struck me how chauvinist England was. It was just behind
the times.

Austria and the rest of Europe are hard to break into, the old stuff is very
alive, the ranks, the class, the names, the gender, all that....

I live in Hawai'i now and it is also behind the times in terms of women's
equality, because it is based on Japanese culture. In some other ways, it is

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churchianity vs Christianity; and how I met Jesus the first time

The conclusion for my brain dead churchian friend was: all churches are human institutions designed to put people to sleep. If one wants to study something real, one has to look somewhere else, out of mainstream. That has been like that forever. Mainstream always kills the real thing. The real thing has to hide in order to be protected from stupid people trying to maim it.

The only good thing that came out of yelling at that brain dead churchian was me remembering Jesus. As soon as I did, I just had that Buddha smile on my face. I completely relaxed and felt very very happy and strong inside. It was nice to reconnect with Jesus again. This time it felt very different, like a very familiar friend.

I haven't Worked with Jesus directly for years. Long time ago, when I was an atheist and very "normal" person going to graduate school, married to a "normal" guy, and living a "normal" life - well, everything fell apart. I got rather sick because of stress (and why is yet another story). So anyways, I could barely move out of bed. Modern medicine had no clue what was wrong with me. And that's how I started exploring alternatives.... Which meant a lot of plundering about through all kinds of new age stuff... Like working with a network chiropractor who used kineziology and a very cooky "healer" friend who read auras, some other cooky kineziologists, reiki, crystals, aromatherapy, ...

And eventually ended up styduing Course in Miracles, which is supposedly channeled by Jesus. Up to that point, Jesus was a foreign word in my vocabulary, the only way I ever would mention him was if someone had the "jesus slippers", which was the slang word in serbian for slip-ons.
Even though I was reading this book written by Jesus, I was still not into God or anything like that. My family was severely persecuted by church during the World Wars and both sides of my family spit on church stuff. They all said: we don't believe in god (meaning: church god) but we do believe that there is Something Higher out there. I saw with my own eyes how opressive and stupid church was, and I stayed away from it as much as possible.

A Course in Miracles was more about psychology, to me; which it is, actually, although it describes some fundamental spiritual truths. It dissects how ego works vs how Spirit works. There were words in there like Holy Spirit, and since I have never gone to church nor read any christian literature, it all made sense to me in a very natural way, as related to that "something Higher" that my family talked about. Jesus was very cool guy and the book started to gradually make sense, even though at first it was all like greek to me - because the IDEAS were foreign, as I later realized. It wasn't because English was difficult. So, anyways, up to that point I really became a new age atheist.

So, one very very early morning, I just could not sleep and so I snuck out of bed where my then-husband was sleeping. It is like 4am, barely light. And there I am in the living room, alone on the sofa, reading the book on how hospitalized children in LA used a visualization to "clean" their brains, and how they got better from doing that. So, I wanted to try that out. I was JUST ABOUT to start visualizing washing my insides, when Jesus appeared. He was very very small, maybe 10 inches, and he was dressed as a window washer, in a blue jumpsuit, and he had a big mop and a bucket. He was happily whistling a tune. And he was floating just in front of my eyes. Well, he was a very happy chap and I could only giggle when I saw him, his joy was infectious. At 4am, a little live window washer winking and floating in front of me - physically - I had my eyes open - just somehow seemed very natural and just FINE. I was very taken by him. He had this joy that was just very convincing and very real and I somehow totally trusted him.

He offered to wash me up and I said sure! The whole conversation happened without any loud words, it was as if I could "hear" his words inside me, or better yet, sense what he was saying. Without a word, I knew exactly what he said, and vice versa. It was like ... hm.. telepathy, we were reading each others' minds.

So, off he went, cleaning, and whistling as he went along. A lot of dark water came down as he washed and scrubbed. Then he'd rinse and go all over, and more dark water came down, and eventually it all became clear. Then he packed up his washing gear, winked at me, and said goodbye and disappeared.

I had a sense that Jesus himself worked with me for a short while afterwards, until I accepted the idea that he is real and that he works for God. I became a believer in Jesus and God. After that point, he never worked with me directly anymore, I had a feeling that I was given to his "subordinates" for further coaching. That is how I started working with Yogananda and Grandfather.

And I wondered why Jesus appeared? If anything, I was intellectually prone to zen buddhism, tibetan buddhism, and sufism. That's what I read and thought about. There was nothing real from the Christian side. But it made sense why Jesus showed up and not Buddha - I was not a buddhist at heart. I was a westerner and thus prone to Christianity. Period. No qualms about that! Later it made even more sense, because Jesus is one of the gurus of Paramahansa Yogananda, who is my guru, so - Jesus *is* one of my gurus.

I haven't seen Jesus for many years, until the next time, when I became so ill I almost died. Then I saw his picture in a christian store window in this small sleepy backlog town. I bought the picture, and put it in my living room, and it helped to connect with it through all the trials I went through. It lasted for several years... Until I chucked my entire life on East Coast and came to Hawaii.

So, I haven't really worked with Jesus directly since then.

He is still in my living room, that same image. Perhaps I should get another image... I had an image of pregnant Mother Mary, and I gave it to my mom and got another image of Divine Mother. This image has Jesus as a child in her arms. It's difficult to find a good image of Jesus. Most images have him totally maimed and sad and serious. His face should be joyous, peaceful and soft.

Many years later, I sat under a boddhi tree and connected with Buddha and became buddies with him. In my house, I have Buddha and Jesus and a few other saints I adore. I like Quan Yin. Somehow I always liked her. I became her convinced fan when I heard the story of her life: she was just reaching enlightment and going up when she heard a child crying, and she turned around and came back to help. So she lost her enlightment because she was still needed here. Many saints do that kind of work. Since I had a very difficult childhood and survived by being helped by such invisible friends, I totally cherish what Quan Yin did for us kids. Thanks! I also like Divine Mother, for some reason, I think that comes from Yogananda and my mom.

Most of the time, I try to talk directly to God. Several years ago, both of my mentors, Yogananda and Grandfather, told me to not get stuck on them, because they are only human, and to DEFINITELY go straight to God. So I took their advice seriously and always try to talk with God directly. It is quite ok, God is a nice guy. I like hanging out with God. Perhaps one of these days I might say that I love him.

Last night, because of my brain dead churchian "friend", I was doing some research on true Christianity. Gurdjieff work claims that Christianity existed way before Christ, and that sounds right to me. There is no way that God wasn't known before Jesus! It just doesn't make sense. People KNEW. God makes sure people know.

So, I had some opportunity to think about God, Christ and what it means, and I took the opportunity. As soon as I started thinking about Jesus, I had a feeling that he came - well, what this means is that his presence, the vibe, is felt, it is like hooking into something higher and very energizing.

So I hooked up with Jesus again this morning, and that was very nice. He/it is a very nice ... whatever he is :) spirit, presence, awareness, guy, ...

Jesus is accessible from anywhere. I just need to think of him and he is there.

It would be easier to call him in when there are at least two of us thinking of him. Finding people to do this with is a tricky business. If I lived closer to Yogananda's temples, I'd go there.

I would never go into a church. Church to me feels very very heavy and oppressive. It is a bunch of asleep people doing asleep things. To sit there for 1-2 hrs just listening to someone preach (typically: bs) is insane. Even Gurdjieff meetings are to be endured because people are people, however, in G meetings, people really try to put some effort in, and it is understood that we are there to do Inner Work, and everyone participates, so it is a much more interactive and positive experience. G work does not really get into prayer and God, and that's a bummer. It does get into meditation, so it is more of a buddhist-like experience.

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Saturday, October 18, 2008

"Biblical Christianity" vs esoteric Christianity

Let's examine in some plain English the beliefs that divide "churchians" from true seekers.

Book by Jacob Needleman, "Lost Christianity."
This is from the reviews:

This book challenges the reader to re-think almost everything they understand about
"lost" Christianity. Needleman does not present another work on Gnosticism,
Christian contemplation, esoteric teachings, or hidden gospels; instead he indicates
that a change of heart (an almost ontological change, and not merely one in thought
and emotion) is necessary for even the most rudimentary Christian teachings to take
root and become REAL in a person's lived experience.

His main premise is that Christianity has lost any real means of spiritualy transforming
people. That the methods that teach us the "how to" have been lost or
replaced with emotional indulgance pretending to be spirituality. As Needleman says
"all real religions produce results." The inability for mainstream Chrisitian
chruches to do that and even keep members is a sobering reminder that something
has gone wrong within western Christianity.

There are other two books that can be useful, Putting on the Mind of Christ by Jim
Marion and and Magus of Strovolos by Daskalos.

This is from the reviews. First a "churchian":

Misguided Christianity, February 6, 2008
Jim Marion has obviously put a lot of work in this book. However, I find his argument
unconvincing. He uses a lot of "handwaving" explanations to support his
ideas, including presenting "scientific" ideas that have no basis or proof
behind them and grossly misinterpreting Biblical scripture.
In fact, I would argue that Jim Marion is not a Christian at all, but rather a
Gnostic (*********only through inner, psychological development can one attain true
knowledge and thus be saved********) with splashes of postmodern and Buddhist ideals.

I base this on comments such as
"no one will save us but ourselves" (pg 263),

sin is overcome when we become psychologically whole (pg 240),

Jesus did not do everything needed for our salvation on the cross (pg 227),

among others. Jim can certainly believe whatever he wants and I think this is an
interesting book for a mature Christian to examine. However, I believe this book
is quite dangerous for the new Christian believer, who may not be able to identify
or understand the pervasiveness of this clearly non-Christian (i.e. non-Biblical)
viewpoint posing as Christianity.


Review from someone who thinks a little bit more:

This book is one of the greatest books I've read for a while. Jim's complete
lack of dogmatism and

****** emphasis on the Kingdom of Heaven that is here and now is very uplifting.
One of the best parts of the book is Jim's explanation for

****** the need of everyone of us to seek the Kingdom of Heaven here on earth in
our lifetime. If we don't do it now we literally have to go through the pain
and suffering associated with life until we finally have grown in spiritual awareness
and have attained the Christ's consciousness.

**** That theorem marks a profound departure from traditional christianity that
in its more vulgar and fundamental forms teaches that one can only reach salvation
through Jesus and through the church.

Quite early on Jim Marion completely does away with the traditional churchs insistence
on dogmas and its long-winded list of thou-shalt-nots and thou-art-sinnful. For
this reason Jim may appear subversive in more fundamentalists quarters.
"Putting on the Mind of Christ" allows man to be on par with Jesus by
permitting man to also reach the Christ consciousness.

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Letter to a fundamentalist "Christian"

A fundamentalist "christian" told me that Jesus is THE only way to reach God, that Bible is totally accurate and to be followed to the last word, etc. I was simply -.... shocked.

First I thought the person was evil on purpose. Then I thought the person is ignorant. Then I finally realized the person is simply not intelligent enough to escape what they have been taught from early age.

It finally dawned on me: you have no capacity to move out of your box. You are so completely sold on it and you see nothing wrong with it, and thus there is no way it will ever change.

What you believe in is just an extension of what you believed in growing up in your small town america -
that there is an elitist group of people; and this group holds the "powers"; and it is a very good thing to side with them.

To you, the world is based on some being subservient and lesser, and some being more special and having power over others. To you, the basic idea that God is One and that All are His Children is a foreign idea. You are just set on defending your little fenced yard. You have no ability and no desire to ever think of the rest of the world.

So your nacism beliefs just continue all your life. Your churchianity is just a form of elitism, leading to power over, and slavery. You are a voluntary slave to this system, because it makes you feel special. You continue to engage in gossip and bsing and doing whatever.

And that's all that you are capable of. You have no intellectual capacity nor the wisdom in your heart to see that you are participating in something fake and destructive. IT ALL SEEMS FINE TO YOU.

*****Something inside you is broken.***** You cannot think clearly, and your heart is polluted.

It should bother you very much to believe in the idea that you are special because you believe in bible and jesus, that jesus is the only way, thay you have nothing to do because he did it all, and that there is no way you will ever reach God like he did.

***All that you stand for is totally contradictory to true Christianity.***

And there is no "Christianity." There is only one God. So going to Him one way or another really doesn't make a difference. All real spiritual work is "Christianity" as well as "buddhism" or "sufism" or whatever. ALL REAL SPIRITUAL WORK IS THE SAME IN THE ESSENCE, it is just the external oblanda that can *look* different but THE TEACHING IS THE SAME. There is Only One God.

You do not love anything but you. When things are all in your favor and served to you on a silver platter, when it is all about entertaining you and catering to you, when you are the center of attention and it is all "fun" - then you "love".

When it becomes slightly uncomfortable, you completely forget that you have ever "loved". You quickly bail, without any remorse or any thinking whatsoever. It just happens. It caused you inconvenience and you won't deal with it.

In that, you are yet another great example of your small american town - of the consumerism. In this case, consumerism of people.

This is relevant to all human beings in the world - the laziness, the greed, the complacency, the abuse, the taking advantage of, the selfishness, the easy way out, no thinking, just taking care of one's own ass - are all characteristics of human ego. Some cultures do a better job of teaching people a little bit to overcome this. Your culture does a great job of putting people to sleep. And you are a great product of where you come from!

Somehow you do not have the ability to escape this. You don't see anything wrong in your nazi views. You think they are great.


Friday, October 17, 2008

neck massage

You know that a chiropractor yanked my neck, right? So ever since then I have been a neck expert.

Today I had a taste of something wonderful, how our body is connected-

my neck was feeling tight, after all week of working, teaching, driving, etc etc. I was in the dance class, which is in a big room with mirrors and ballet- style bars all around the room.

So I put my leg up on the bar, like ballerinas do, and stretched my leg. The back of the tigh, the hamstring, was all knotted and short. I stretched it and massaged it. Then the other leg - way easier. Then I repeated on the first leg.

Then something gave away - I cannot describe it otherwise but to say that something stretched out and my neck all of the sudden became comfortable. I felt like I was in a crinkled bodysuit and suddenly it got ironed out and it became comfortable again. My head cleared up, I wasn't tired anymore, I was just feeling so light and so happy, so relieved, so free.

The power of bodywork.

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Saturday, October 11, 2008

Spas vs healing

This is a letter that I actually sent to someone who has a fancy place which they wanted to turn into a "healing center" but - I think it is just yet another spa.
Also, I wonder if I sent this letter already :) I hope I didn't. As I clean my mailbox, things happen :)

somehow your address popped up. I gave you two massages a long time ago and we spoke about me working for you.

Your employee XYZ got back to me saying that what I charge is too much and that you cannot work with that. She inflated what I charged - it was 80 and she said 120$. So I won't be working for you, seems like.

If that is indeed true that you are not willing to pay "excellent wage" to get "excellent people", then the whole setup is yet another spa - pretty and posh environment with "servants" who are nice to the guests but are not much trained and are paid little.

Your place is very beautiful and you spent a lot of money on that. You say you want "excellent practitioners" but where you can get good people for little money? The whole idea of spending money on THINGS and never on PEOPLE is not a healing idea. That whole beautiful place cannot fix a kink in no back, no matter how much you try. Only a skilled therapist can.

Most employees at spas are not interested in continuing their training, and of course they will never be able to afford any training anyways with the lousy pay they get.

To have a clinical bodyworker and healer, like myself, it takes money to keep on training and of course money to pay for results. I was the only one able to relax the back of the wife. It takes skill, talent, a LOT of training to be able to do that, and living a certain lifestyle every day. Very few people have that. Since I saw you last, I went for ... hm, hard to enumerate everything - 500$ weekend in neuromuscular therapy, 200$ lomi instruction, 400$ weekend in Bowen therapy, .... I can't even remember it all. Videos, books, etc. - probably 1000$ on all that.

I am famous as a healer, someone who produces results. I have a gift. And I am interested in healing, not spas. Some people need to play rich in a spa, and some people need to fix the kinks in their back :) and their lives.

PS - I am putting this letter on my blog, of course you stay anonymous.

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Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Sacred Hunt - the pray speaks

I am funny pray. Every time you try catching me, you catch yourself.

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The poet talks about the poem

This is what the poet had to say about the "Sacred Hunt" poem:

I have had the distinct impression this last week of this hunt. I could actually feel that I was closing in on you. It was almost like a vision.
[Just before the poem came to me yesterday,] Your question, "What are you going to do know?" took me by surprise.
Yesterday, I had this picture in my mind of me as a hunter and that you turned to face me, open and vulnerable. This was a feeling of openness that was different than in May. This time I felt that your heart was open. The "bow and arrow" comment seemed at the time, like a cute comeback, but was inappropriate once it left my lips. The moment was so precious that I wanted to rush forward with an open heart and soul and to embrace you. It had the distinct impression of being joined together as one.

Scott L. Berry, "Little Fox"

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Monday, October 6, 2008

All these years I have been hunting you

All these years I have been hunting you.

Now I have an open shot and am ready to shoot a love arrow.

But it doesn't feel right.

I put my bow and arrow down.

Instead, I will give you a gift.

I will bring myself as a gift.

copyright by Scott L. Berry, "Little Fox"
Oct.6, 08


Saturday, October 4, 2008

How do people get to know Jesus?

My Born Again (I'd call him: Brain Dead) friend and I got into an argument about the Bible. He claims it is completely true. I (and many others) claim that the book has been edited through centuries by plain old humans and that a lot of things in it are not true. For example, early christianity contained reincarnation. It got deleted after a religious conference, I think in 5th century, but don't quote me on that number.

The wannabe christian, so defensive about his church stuff, got quite puzzled when i asked him a very simple question:

How did people who never studied Bible, who never set foot into a christian church, got to know Jesus? How did they get in touch with that Christ consciousness? Obviously, Jesus has a way of reaching people ...
How can someone like Paramahansa Yogananda has Jesus as his basic guru? Where did Yogananda get hooked with Jesus? Yogananda is a Hindu and a yogi, a monk, studied under other Indian gurus. Never been a christian in some church... heck, western church would consider him a heretic and blashphemy. Yet he hang out with Jesus all the time and reached enlightement anyways. And look at me - I have never set foot in a church yet Jesus showed up to me too, and ever since then, I am practicing christianity, and have never set foot in a church still and never even read the Bible. I opened the book and it was so bad, I just put it down. Some parts, like gospels, seem true, but are so cryptic, I could never read that book on my own, it needs an experienced guide. Yogananda has commentary on the gospels and it is astounding what gospels are REALLY saying.

And also, btw, what is the difference between "Buddha consciousness" and "Christ consciousness?" There seems to be none, in my mind. Both are about compassion, kindness, external considering, etc. I love Buddha dearly and have talked with him numerous times too. I just happen to be a westerner and under the tutelage of Christ. It doesn't mean that Buddha is any lesser. He is just more suitable for eastern personalities. Westerners seem to need the emotional outlet of having a God to talk to. Easterners are content to not have anyone to talk to, and only an abstract White Light to go towards. Well, that's God. Us westerners are a lot more materialistic and less abstract and we need something to relate to.. We love to chatter with it... And unfortunately have made it into something that is like us, with all the faults. No, God is Great White Light, totally perfect and neutral, and definitely way beyond anything human-like.

And I asked my friend another simple math question: if you stuck to your church for 30 years, and it brought you nothing, and in the last 2 years you tried XYZ true spiritual teachings and your life took off - then which thing works? My question was:

is it possible to become a true Christian just by following a church? My thesis is that one must follow some mystery school, some metaphysical teaching, otherwise one will get lost in dogma and ego stuff. Church has never produced real open minds.

Great religions are like great ships,
Poets like life saving boats.

Everyone sane I know has jumped overboard.

That is good for business, isn't it, Hafiz?

poem by Hafiz, a sufi master. (Sufis are a mystical sect of muslim religion. They secretly talk about God using words such as Friend or Lover, going to tavern and drinking wine, getting drunk, reciting poetry.)

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