Thursday, June 4, 2009

Advice from Dr. Todd to those venturing to jump into abyss

A while ago, in about 2002? - a little before I took the epic trip cross country into nothing and eventually wandered to Hawaii, when I was still on East Coast sniveling to my Native American tribe, my dear friend Todd, who had the pleasure of driving with me and our teammates squished in the back of the truck to all the bumpy far Pines locations while I was munching on garlic - oh what memorable trips those were! Roswitha will remember the garlic too- well, my dear friend Todd said something very profound. He said something along these lines: "hey Milica, grab a guy (or two), have a drink, and call us in the morning." That was such a profound and shattering advice that totally stopped me in my tracks and made me ponder. I couldn't just say that I don't drink and that there is no guy left around. I just had to sell my house, pack my stuff and drive off towards West, hoping to fulfill this assignment.

Several years later, I am still kinda failing the assignment. I did grab a guy, but a Born Ignorant "christian" so there was no need to get drunk, he was enough to make me vomit.

So this is the rest of the discussion between me and Dr. Todd, dated about June 2, 2009:


Milica: Todd, I am at the end of the rope. I am going to be 100 years old soon and am not even dating anyone. I feel someone assigned to me and I can even hold a spiritual conversation with the guy, but he hasn't shown up in person. Is there a light at the end of the tunnel???


Todd: Greetings Milica,

End of your rope?

I have given this a good long think about your request for help.

And so here goes.

What in you must die or be let go of, to make it to the light at the end of the tunnel?

From my experience it is to know this that is key. For we are all the common denominator in our lives. To know the darkness that still is empowered in our choices, actions, thoughts, and being. What is left of this life that will be the old life once in the light and out of the tunnel?

What belief/s are the baggage of the past that can not be carried to the other shore?

Sometimes we must die the little death to live anew.

The answer is, You have your answer, it is how you know to ask the Question.

Focus on the light and let all else be stripped away.

Now here are some things I did to clarify myself for this journey and to give me the strength. to go through this kind of rebirth. Everything that is in ones past, I mean everything will need to be released into the care of The Creator and Earth Mother.... The good, the bad, the ugly, and the beautiful.

Get REALY CLEAR on what you want in a mate. Write it down, draw a picture of this person and let the picture and list unfold this person to you. use as many types of mediums for this that you can to truly become clear about this. This is key!!! Use the pain and passion you feel, to move you to the calling of the light as your guide

This prep. work is a key piece.

Once you have this clarity stay focused on it and call it out loud, you have to say it out loud!!!

Now you need to speak this clarity VERY clearly..... It needs to flow with all this truth that is.

Like a song until it can be spoken with the sounds of ringing true to your heart....

You will know it when it does sound true.

Now comes the hard part.

Faith and time.

It may take some time of holding on to this clarity, not the details!!!, to give Creation a chance to manifest. For me it was about 1 year.

Looking back the year was time i needed to clear up things to be ready.

To let the transformation take affect. And this was after years of wanting to get there. Though until I made this commitment to myself fully did it come to be.

You will need to hold this clarity for what ever the time, that is needed.........

If you are there, at the end of your rope, end you are ready for the little death,
all can change.

I wish you all the best and would wish these next step on no one.

You will die to live.

This is about commitment beyond any thing we know or believe it to be, to the Creator.

All the Best,


Milica: completely frozen - the effects of his words were like a stop exercise - I bolded the only thing I remembered from his words - it just made me completely sloooow down and STOP. Everything became still and very very clear. Suddenly, I was Present. Yes, what I had to do is to die in order to live. Yes, it was all about God.

Yes, it is about living in accordance with Creator.
I am not there yet although I have all the tools, training, and support to be there. It has consequences to my whole life - jobs, mate, etc.

Thank you for your thoughtful feedback.


You are welcome.

I put as much into those words as i can.

Not from what someone would say, rather from life lived.

Sometimes all the tools, training, and support we have must be surrendered

for the path of our own hearts journey.

I truly feel it is a great thing when a person gets to this place,

beyond all external and internal authority.

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