Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Dalai Lama

Just watched "DalaiLama Reneissance" movie, vol 1.

Dalai Lama has incredible eyes - alive and sharp.

He says some major "nasty" stuff and then laughs and makes it light. So he gives you an impression of being a childish clown, but in reality he has stabbed you with some profound truths. I guess this is a technique to not let the ego realize something is happening to it and to then kick back. It diffuses the tension.

What he says rings true.

How other people treat him is often fake. I guess we don't know how to handle a saint. Also, perhpaps people are acting the way they think they should? Or his presence makes them into something else? I don't know. I will find out when I meet Dalai Lama.

The best part of the movie is Dalai Lama. Then the shots of life on streets in India. The shots of Westerners talking about Dalai Lama or their own stuff, is kinda - well - superflous. I was wondering why anyone would make a movie on that. I concluded: because other Westerners need to hear about what it is like to be a part of that Dalai Lama world, and to perhaps get enticed into it. Otherwise, they themeselves are not capable of seeing anything in Dalai Lama. He has to be "marketed" to them. That's my educated guess. Also, that we Westerners need to watch ourselves in action, to see how incapable we are of synthesis and collaboration, because we don't have the training, and we are not used to living it.

Added later: what was obvious is that the "leading alternative thinkers of the Western world" had very very little clue about anything. As human beings, they are a little too tight and too fake. In comparison, Dalai Lama is alive and real.

Do you notice the quality of my writing now? I am present. That's the kind of effect someone like Dalai Lama has on you, on me.
I was thinking as I was watching the movie: hey, how about moving to Dharmsala. How fast I could develop in presence of someone so high. Then I thought - is it my place to be there. Is that my assignment.

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I am remembering only now my conclusions about me earlier in the day - how primitive I am, selfish, self centered, egoistical. Very low. If I am unsatisfied, I am cranky and spoiling everyone's day, I want it to be known that I am off and that I need attention. If I want attention, I get it at work, where people did not choose to deal with me and where people cannot escape.

And so on - extremely egoistical to the point of view of being destructive, for the sake of my own okole.

To be truthful, these strategies I leared at home, my family used them - both my grandma and my mother were "sick" and in bed every weekend and my father had to bring tea and food to their bed. They magically got healthy and fine on Monday morning, when my mother went to work and my grandma had the house to herself.

So I am used to this. But I never liked it. But I do it myself. Because I was used to it. Now is the time to stop all that.

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Another thing that Dalai Lama made me think about is this win-win situation. The Tibetan solution has to be good for both Tibetans and Chinese.

I was wondering about my approach to solving Born Again friend issue. I identified that stuff as the major cause of his inability to love, and I gave him an ultimatum - to quit that stuff or quit me. He chose quitting me without even thinking, literally in a milisecond. Immediatelly. During the film, I wondered what would have happened if I let him be, if I gave him more time and space to get out of that bad habit. But again - Dalai Lama took 20 yrs with Chinese, and no results yet. Still, that approach, that concept intrigued me.
Born Again admitted that he was praying that I convert into it, so he was quite millitant himself.

I am a little afraid that he is going to show up out of blue again, He has a habit of doing that - causing major upheaval and destruction, he disappears, then as soon as I recover and line up other guys and live my life happily ever after - he appears out of blue and bombs (into) my life. I guess this time he is permanently done. What is amazing is that he has no ability to love. None.





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