Saturday, November 28, 2009

some strategies for selecting a boyfriend

I have two single lady neighbors. One is rather young (maybe in her late 20s, early 30s), and the other one is late 40s. The young one is what you would call "a hot chick", completely decked out with makeup and super tight clothes at all times. The older one is a surfer, sporty type.

I witnessed their boyfriend procedure in action through several cycles, with initial failures and eventual success, so now I can present you with a true-and-tested procedure that WORKS.

This is how they handle the men issue:

when they are without a boyfriend, they start having parties at their home.

This is the protocol:
Have a party and invite people over. The young one is a good cook so she invites everyone for a dinner. The older one invites them to watch TV and drink beer.

Invite many guys, and MAYBE one another lady. The host lady makes sure he invites at most one lady who is a true and tested ally, and the guys have to compete.
If there is another lady, it is a good friend of the host lady, and the two of them have a plan - the visiting lady is after a guy whom the host lady is not after. In other words, ladies never compete.
While the hunt is at the "party" stage, there is a lot of traffic around the host lady home - guys stop by, the other ally lady stops by, there are frequent parties, everyone stays late and talks about piquant topics.
There is loud music, food, lots of talking.
The guests always arrive at night and stay quite late.

Well, at first everyone leaves all toghether. After a few parties, one guy will stay after everyone else leaves. That's the one the lady keeps.

And then - there is no more parties, no more stopping by, the ally lady doesn't stop by. The host lady disappears with her catch. Everything goes quiet.

The next time there is a party, it is because the guy is gone and the boyfriend slot is open.

I saw this algorithm in action many times.

The " beer and TV party" lady first got a beer and TV guy, who just sat there watching TV by himself. He was unsuitable because the lady is NOT into beer and TV. When she is alone, she never watches tv. She just uses TV as an excuse to invite them over. She likes to talk.
After I explained to her that she needs to tone down the TV part in order to get a better catch, and she did, she found someone exactly like her - someone with a very loud voice who loves to talk - and I haven't heard from them in many months now. They are living happily ever after.

The young one first attracted some pot smoking blonde surf dudes. They are good looking and awful. At least they were quiter than her last boyfriend, who was intelligent, "cute" and completely selfish, rude and wicked pot head. She smoked too. I had to yell at them to stop. I hate that smell. There is something so evil in it, something that just puts you to sleep and sucks your soul out.
Finally, after many repetitions of the above algorithm, there is someone who is quiet, nice, and treats her well, I just saw them walk out together, and there is no pot smell. The guy said hi to me and he seems nice and quietly happy. She is all happy too. I heard them eat dinner together, and it sounds like they are happy together. This lady is actually a good householder and needs a stable, solid guy. Maybe she found him! The happy end, hopefully.

Meanwhile, I am thinking: who wants me. Most males want some demour, easy-to-catch, nice and pleasing female. On the contrary, I am like a wild pony, strong and ... hm.. wild! Only a very strong guy will be able to appreciate a tiger like that. Who is that guy?

On the other hand: my sporty neighbor is not demour, and she found some guy who is exactly like her. And sometimes I hear her ribbing him :) Deserved or not, I cannot tell :)

On another hand, I am a lot more gentle than most. I have taught my demour girly girl neighbor to affectionately talk to her pet. My flowers and my pet are totally pampered and gloriously beautiful. Unfortunately, I am just too giving and if the recipient is someone who is immature, they take it for granted and try to abuse it. So that's why I don't hang out with the crowd - most are too cruel.

For most, that's the hard part to comprehend, that something can be so super gentle and so super strong, like silk. It really is like a tiger - it cann shred you to pieces, and it can purr and cuddle. Who can handle that kind of responsibility? - maybe only another tiger... ? Only someone really mature, someone truly male, who can appreciate being pampered and step up to the responsibility of deserving the pampering. That would be a real man. Where is that real man?

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