Saturday, January 31, 2009

Amazing grace lyrics

The song is not correctly translated, so below are corrections.
"Grace taught heart to be in awe" is translated as "Grace taught heart to fear".
"wretch" is really a normal human being.

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a human like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now, I see.

T'was Grace that taught
my heart to Awe.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear
the hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come.
T'was Grace that brought me safe thus far
and Grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be
as long as life endures.

Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.

When we've been here ten thousand years
bright shining as the sun.
We've no less days to sing God's praise
then when we've first begun.

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a human like me....
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now, I see.


born again is continuous, in every moment

As I was driving to work, I was singing Amazing Grace (one of my favorite songs) and being very touched by it, really putting effort to mentate on those words and soak them in. I felt that feeling, you know that feeling, when your heart opens and you are almost teary because you are so in Awe.

Then it dawned on me: this "born again" feeling is something that is supposed to be happening every moment. We are supposed to be reborn every moment, going back to God.

What a stiff interpretation by churchians - "once you are born again, that's it! paid the dues, got into the club, and now it's time to scoot. Lay by the pool and drink margaritas. Jesus will take care of it. No worries!" Well.... not quite.

Seems like a "normal" unaware human being is supposed to be practicing being born again over and over again, every moment. We fall into our own little head trips and we get lost. Then we start paying attention and at that moment, the world looks completely new - completely schiney, brand new to our eyes. We are in Awe. We are born again.
Then we fall asleep again and do not notice anything around us. A tiger could sneak on us and get us! So we wake up a little and take a look at the world again, with fresh eyes. We experience the world again as if we just arrived fresh on Earth, as we are just born again. For a second or two. We watch the sunset, the sunrise, a happy kid playing, the play of sunschine on the water, we listen to bird songs, or wind rustling in trees, or our lover reciting poetry, and we are in Awe. Then we fall asleep again...

and so it keeps on repeating. We are constantly reborn.

Amazing grace!


Thursday, January 15, 2009

role of body in spiritual life

Well, the question of the role of the body is a big and important question. if I can have my awareness on my body as well as on outside of my body at the SAME time, then something Higher can come in.

This is from a Gurdjieff person about the role of the body:

"When I find myself in an emotional reaction, I may be able to see that I'm losing far more energy than I suspected. But if I can withhold my emotional manifestations, my tantrums, my whining, and my self-pity, and instead bring all of my attention to an awareness of how my body is, in the moment of the situation confronting me, the leakage of that energy may be reversed and become available for a work toward the realization of my own being. I become a grown-up person in that moment, and capable of what grown-up people can do."

The body is the transformer, that's where the spiritual side meets the physicality. The body is the conduit.

A buddhist teacher Milarepa said: "... this material body, made of flesh and blood and mental consciousness, is gathered together by the twelve chains of cause and effect - one of which is volition - originating from ignorance. This body is the blessed vessel for those fortunate beings who wish for freedom, but it also leads sinners into the lower realms. I understand that in this body lies the vital choice between enourmous profit and loss, relating to eternal happiness or misery on the border between good and evil..."

So there are no conventional notions about the "evils of the flesh", as well as modern fantasies about sacralization of sensuous indulgence. it is obvious that, as Milarepa pursues his spiritual search, some transformation is taking place in his body of a nature that is at the same miraculous and in accordance with law. Yet this material tranformation is ... result of work of meditation. ... what we are dealing here is the creation within the human organism of a spiritualized body that provides extraordinary energy and support to the basic work of meditation.

THE LINK BETWEEN THE SACRED AND PROFANE NATURES OF MAN IS ESTABLISHED WITHIN THE BODY ITSELF, which then, in a saint, becomes the stepping stone to further levels of consciousness and compassion. "
Jacob Needleman, "Lost Christianity". He also wrote "Why cant we be good"

There is a lot more about bodies. SOme teachings (like Gurdjieff) talk about creating finer more subtle bodies inside the physical body, and that can be done only via meditation and Inner Work.

Notice that mind is considered as one of the senses.

One historical way of dealing with this: all that is demanded of man is that he believe with his mind and conform his outer behavior to the rules and rituals laid down for him. He is not required to be inwardly active; he is not required to surrender his dreams more than once or twice in his life, if at all. Here it is necessary for man to be good, but it is not necessary for him to develop. (in other words, he is just physical body on the outside, inside doesn't matter). - this is the churchian way, and the way of most "christians" - I saw it with my own eyes in that man who wanted to date me - he was exactly like this.

Another way: although we are One with God, we need to internally develop, i.e. put inner effort, before such ideas can be concretely realized in an individual. Man needs to develop oneself to intermediate levels of being and consciousness that can permanently relate and harmonize all parts of the human structure. There are very specific instructions as how to go about this, e.g. meditation. ( body is a vehicle for something Higher, and there is more than we can see with physical eyes.)
from "Lost Christianity"

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Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Some really really disgusting adds

USA women get 77 cents on 1 dollar paid to a male for the very same job.

These are the vintage adds from 70s and 80s, blatantly sexist and discriminatory. It's not 70s and 80s anymore, but the attitudes are still lingering. Let's just stomp them out.

The comments by the audience are HILLARIOUS, it is very witty. Check out the zebra photos too.
She works hard at housework... and is cute. "She thrives on cooking, dusting and cleaning, and he is all tuckered by the closing time". How? she takes vitamins! Hope you take vitamins too, ladies! he is beating her for not buying coffee correctly

This is for makeup:


Friday, January 9, 2009


Seems like makeup is a sensitive topic, I haven't seen as many posts on very few other topics :)

What counts is the overall impression of the person - do they look radiant, confident, healthy, enthusiastic, etc. As well as competent and professional.

Some fields have some "cliches" as to how to convey that, e.g. fashion, Holiwood, or finance use their looks to achieve certain emotional effects for hooking people in - glamour, entertainment and stable security. Since glamour and financial security have been around for centuries, people already have a very established idea what it should look like.

Our field is new, so - Bill Gates and adds is how people are beginning to form an idea what a professional geek looks like. If you look in adds for technical stuff, people are lot more simply yet professionally dressed, the colors are more into dark grays and some blues and some black (not blue look of government employees, not black of arts, not brown) and makeup is not the norm.

In our field we can be more neutral because we don't "sell" emotions as much. As long as we look suave, it's fine. No need for Barbie dolls or 3-piece suits. But definitely need for looking "professional suave" and BEHAVING that way.

If you want to "look makeup" without really having it, just get a lip gloss, or a real lipstick, and make it something schiney, so that it shows - and voila, you look makeuped and you are still comfortable. And, a lot of those lip things are organic and are good for your lips, like Dr. Burts or Dr. Haushka (spelling?).

Also, strategic jewelery helps - a string of pearls or a simple gold necklace makes you look very "rich and sophisticated" and conveys a certain attitude.

And of course the clothes need to look "sophisticated". The whole package.

Makeup is a way to achieve looking healthy without putting in the work of the wholistic lifestyle.
Everything shows on the skin, esp, face - bad digestion, lack of sleep, worry, etc.
Having that healthy, radiant, smooth, glowing skin and rosey cheeks is something that requires a lot more than just a makeup... It requires food, exercise, peace of mind, overall good health, and some good skin care - scrub, wash, moisturize.
And if person has that nice skin, they will look great, imo better than a makeuped plastered person. "Natural looking" makeup is in, anyways.

The only things that work for me is Young Living skin care, it is all natural. Haven't tried Dr. Haushka's because YL works so good. The supermarket has some vit A and C creams that work well too.

lately I stopped wearing even the pierced earings, because my acupuncturist claimed they were causing eye problems.


Monday, January 5, 2009

Women in workforce

Milica on the 9-5 lifestyle:

There are cases pro and con women in business and esp technology, medical and law - professions that earn good money and/or have a certain "power".

That's normal - those who have power want to keep it, and those who don't, want to get in the door.

In general, we want the pro-women attitude. Actually, to be more specific:

what we want is PRO-COMPETENCY attitude, regardless of who that is - they could be any gender, race, etc.

Also, we want to change the attitude too. If "being dedicated to one's career" means slaving away 80hrs per week in some office, going mandatory golfing/whatever afterwards and on weekends, and commuting 2 hrs to work, then no thanks. "Career oriented" is just a buzz word to brainwash people into working long hours for someone else.

I still want to have some evenings at home with my family and I still want some hobbies and exercise. I want to work 40 hrs per week. And I'd like to work, not spend time chatting politics and other nonsense. I want to work and go home and have my own time and freedom. That's the career that I would consider desirable.

If women are not going to get gray hairs sitting in that office for 80hrs per week and doing politics and going to play golf etc afterwards, then they are quite normal, honestly. The men who are doing that are quite abnormal, imo. They are getting heart attacks for the corporate sake.

I actually DO want to work 60 – 80 hour weeks – because I WANT to and NOT because I feel like I HAVE to. I want the 40 hours of base requirement to be fairly regularly scheduled so that I can also have other activities that I am committed to, whether they include hobbies, exercise, organizations, classes, or my favorite sit –com (don’t have one for real) followed by a nice bubble-bath (do take those for real). The remaining hours should be simply because there are extra things I want to do or learn about at work because I am excited by what I do. Actually, my current situation fills that pretty well most of the time. What a nice thing to realize!

Response from Milica:
Congrats if you found the job that is so interesting that it fills in your time to your satisfaction for 60-80hrs per week, and seems like, pays well too.

A lot of people do those long hours but without really being enthused about it. That's why office workers talk about "sneaking out of the office at 6pm without feeling guilty and condemnde by others."

My point was that today "career" means HAVING TO work long hours 80hr per week, and then going golfing/drinking/whatever aferwards; (often, too, business travel, and almost no maternity time.)
For example, my old company required us to play tv rugby (or however it is called) on Saturdays, to "bond" us employees. Yuck.

So, the point I was making is this definition of "career" is pretty lopsided.

No offense, but if someone doesn't have a personal life, they are not the most creative and common-sense, practical real life worker. Also, as a human being, if they don't have a life, they are unbalanced. Also, their family life and kids are going to suffer. Families and other "love" relationships, esp. kids, do require spending time together, no questions about it. The old image of daddy coming home late tired is just not a good image for the daddy concept. If now mommy starts coming home late too, and tired, then - say hi to the drugs, teenage pregnancies, divorces, and a lot of unhappy kids and their teachers. We already live that reality today.

On the other side, not having extra obligations, like family, leaves one extra time - so if one is happy to work, why not.
Also, being truly exceptional DOES require "100hrs" per week, it is not possible to become an Olympic athlete or a CEO if you are working 40hrs and going home afterwards and never traveling and never going on maternity leave.
However - it should be the choice of those who are INTERESTED in having this lifestyle.

So, where does it leave a woman in technology is a good question. Having these "ideals" of what "career" should be like is just getting obsolete, imo. Our unconscious images of "career" are images of tired gray-haired men coming home late.

We should be able to make our own images and lifes, so that everyone can contribute how they can and want.

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Saturday, January 3, 2009

Churchianity references

The "christian" issue has been researched. How "christians" think and how they behave and what it does. I read "Lost Christianity" and "Why can't we be good" by Jacob Needleman, "Gifts of Desert" and "Magus of Strovolus" by Kiriakos, and "Putting on the Mind of Christ" by Jim Marion.

Jim marion's book is probably the first reading for those who haven't really thought about the issue, because it describes the various levels of consciousness, i.e. how "christians" think and why.

It has some deeper truths too. But it doesn't tell you how to get there.
The even deeper stuff is in Needleman's books.

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West African music

Check out movement and later sound, click on "bio" then scroll down to see the movement in slow motion. Notice the smile. and click on "see preview 1" and this is what it looks like

West African Natives have a very ingrained musical tradition tied to healing, "djeli" families are responsible for oral passing of tradition, music, storytelling, and peacemaking.

I have been hanging out with several of those Natives lately and playing drums and dancing, and there is a definite and very pronounced healing effect and community building. These are very very traditional moves and rhythms, very ancient, and they are designed to "do" something and they do - they somehow put you in a higher state and thus heal.

Africans drum and sing and dance with everything - someone drums when they work the fields, when they fish, for initiations, etc. Not to mention the aerobic workout, sense of movement, presence, concentration, relaxation, freedom in the body, etc. Westerners often think it is great for drum circles and shaking one's butt sexy, but that is soooo off the mark, and this African music just recalibrates us Westerners to being normal again and functional within a community.

In short, this "art part" is a very crucial part of Native living, a magical part.

Right now a lot of West Africa is staying home jobless and just getting drunk on home-made beer. What Africa has to offer is priceless and we need to somehow learn it while there are a few keepers left.

I have tried all kinds of music and dance, but West African has something pure and undiluted, because it is completely illogical and forces you think about each and every step. Also, it is completely free of any games, pretenses, etc, just joy of dancing and being alive and connected to Earth. Belly dancing should be like that too, but it is often reduced to the level of sex entertainment and/or has an attitude of trying the engage the audience and keep them captivated, i.e. it becomes emotionally charged drama and ego food. West African is not sexy at all although it has a lot of pelvic moves and is sexy, but the moves are done with pelvis like they would be done with an arm or head, all body parts are EQUAL. It is very ... Earthy and very One. Also, the emotion is neutral, it is sheer joy. There is no dramas, no games, nothing. Just joy.

Something Sacred and Something That Builds Community is hidden in that music and dance.

And I encourage you to explore it.


We need to wish for these very precious ancient art keepers sincere wishes to succeed and pass the knowledge. These are Native people in charge of what might be one of the few left truly ancient healing things. Please respect and support them and help them Teach.

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Thursday, January 1, 2009

Living Native

Today I was on the beach and going home when my friend called to tell me that she wasn't coming to our meeting. Since she had the keys to the meeting room, we couldn't get in... So I rushed home to get everyone's numbers to call them asap. And I was upset at this irresponsible "friend". I was going to call her back and bitch about it but her phone was busy.

I rushed home. I heard a little voice that said that my cell phone was not secured in my backpack, and - I ignored it.

I walked about 100 ft and then reached for the cell phone to call, and the phone wasn't there. I left my bag, went back, looking through the sand, no phone. Then I went back again, this time asking other beach goers if they saw it, and looking at the water. One woman told me the waves came high in the last few minutes.

So I looked more carefully into the water, and saw - a piece of plastic bag or something like that? floating around, something yellow and blue, very bright colors. I looked again, and it was a bright yellow fish with blue stripes, it had the shape of angel fish (i.e. triangular body and a long nose). It swam very very close to the shore, just a few inches from the shore. I HAVE NEVER SEEN ONE BEFORE on that beach, and certainly not so close. I ran after the fish to see it better but it was gone already.

Well, I remembered to take this as a sign, and I went back where I first saw the fish and ... my phone was right there, in the sand, under water.

The phone got soaked wet and doesn't work yet. Maybe it never will. But at least *I have it so I don't have to cancell my service, etc.

Thanks to the fish. A messenger from God. Thanks! I say to the Ocean and to God.

This way of doing things is Native. We just follow the signs from God. God is smart, He knows everything and He wants us well, so taking His hints is the best way to go.

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