Wednesday, December 30, 2009

2nd full moon

Is tomorrow! Very rare occassion.

I am completing a 5-day cleanse by Young Living. Amazing stuff. I used some "powder food" they sell called Balance Complete. It replaces meals. You just dissolve 2 scoops in water. Also, you take wolfberry juice, and a lot of it. And, you take a pill with pepermint essential oil and a few other digestive/cleanse oils. And that's all you eat, three times a day, plus some tiny snakcs, like: 1/2 cup of blueberries, 2 tbsp of sunflower seeds, 1plum for the whole day. And, lots of water to flush it all out.

First, I was hungry the first day, and headachey and weak, somewhat feverish. I was doing computer work and that didn't help, probably, my eyes and my brain were exausted. Then I did a healing treatment, and that made me feel better.
So in the evening it became better and I danced around the room.
I woke up the next morning feeling like OOOOhhhhhh, what a relief ... it felt good in my body.

The second day was rough - I woke up ok but went back to sleep, and then had dark red puffy under my eyes, I felt weak and hungry. I felt feverish sometimes. My kidney was complaining a little sometimes. I was headachy and tired and weak and really off for most of the day. Detox symptoms... I was doing computer work again.
I did some healings and it changed everything, I felt better. By the evening, I was tired but feeling a lot better.

This morning, I woke up just fine, and was very fine, very energetic and clear all day long, and I did many healing treatments, outcalls, I was working all day long and on very difficult cases, lugging my table around, driving, ... I worked in some very fancy beach homes, very clean and orderly and just beautiful. The last treatment was at my house and it was powerful spiritual lesson in Love and Oneness and my home feels somehow refreshed.

***** Well, isn't that a pattern - I do healing treatments and that makes me feel good. I do computer work and it makes me feel lousy. IT IS TIME I SEE THAT FOR WHAT IT IS. Although I kinda liked what I was studying on the computer, still.

Also, because I was so busy and people were coming in and I didn't really eat on time. I would get up at 9, then eat breakfast at 10, then lunch would be at 2.... sometimes at 4pm... Today I ate dinner at 8:30pm... Today I felt tired because I did an outcall which was a little bit over the edge. I really should have not done it.

Also, I don't miss food.... Shopping, cooking, cleaning, eating -it all takes so much time. On the other hand, I look at that powder I am taking and I think how artificial it is and how removed I am from the land eating something like that. I need to be in touch with the bounty of the Earth.

I do get hungry now and I look at some stuff on my fridge and I am tempted a little, but then - not really. I notice I am tempted more with the carob coated raisins and not with pumkin and sunflower seeds. Hm - cravings, what in me wants to eat those. Candida, parasites, ...

Today I lay down with Yogananda's "sing thy name" CD with monks and 2000 devotees singing, and that was powerful. I just lost consciousness and woke up 30 mins later, totally refreshed.

Monday, December 28, 2009


In my email inbox, there is a message from me, replying to some Russian dating service saying that my spam filter doesn't accept connections. But that spam filter message should have been sent to whoever tried to contact me. The spam message looks like I am the emailing myself and the spam filter complains. ??? As if someone is using my email without me knowing it.


It never ceases to amaze how connected our bodies are. For example, a problem in the shoulder can be fixed by working on the hips. A problem in the knee can be helped by fixing the shoulder or the hips.


Sunday, December 13, 2009

for women leaders

Read Fierce Conversations and
Fierce Leadership. Both are excellent. They are also not for everyone; not
everyone can pull off some of the things she recommends. But I still
encourage everyone to read them.
I have been in your situation, more than once. I've both succeeded and
failed at it. The first thing I recommend is DON'T think you can gain their
trust when you walk in the door. It's impossible. Trust needs to be earned.
It's actually something that I talk about when taking on a new team - that
we're new to each other and we're going to have to get to know each other
and that I want to earn their trust. I talk about the things I expect from
them. I ask what they expect from me. I set up individual and team meetings.
I take people to lunch. I try really, really hard not to jump to conclusions
and take some time to hear from everyone. And I try not to let what has
happened previously affect me. Everyone has a clean slate (tell them that)
it's good and it's also bad, because I don't know how well they were
performing previously and we'll need to demonstrate to each other what we're
good at. Always back them up in public, even if they're wrong, so they know
you've got their backs (talk to them about the issue in private and see if
you can help the person fix it himself quietly).
Good luck with the new job! I'm sure you're going to be great.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

West African dance

Moustapha Bangoura, whom I consider #2 best male dancer in the world as far as West African goes (I consider Yousouff Koumbassa #1) is here in Honolulu. YEEHA! He is an amazing dancer and teacher.

And he is 56. Which made me think - who is carrying on this knowledge??? It made me really really ponder - am I learning it as much as I can, so that it can live.

There is another thing that I noticed, and that is that not all of our African dancers and drummers attended. That is really strange.

This is a chance to work with a magnificant artist and teacher. I am grabbing it.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009


Do not waste your life or your life's path.
Be aware that every single event in your life was needed.
All these events were necessary to be experienced.
You would disgrace the true meaning of your life
if you still regret or hate any of the mistakes or faults on your path.

Gayuna Sundima

I talked to one of Paramahansa Yogananda's nuns. The fact they called me to set an appointment and assigned me a specific nun to talk with me means that my case was serious :) Usually I just get to speak with the on the phone right away and it is very short.

Anyways, we spoke about many things. One thing became very obvious: that even pondering stupidities of other people is a complete and total waste of time, and my life too. It just isn't worth it.

So, yes, I can be in total amazement that Born Again 'christian' can be so stupid, but the fact is - he *is* stupid, and so be it. There is no way it is changing, and there is no point in trying to comprehend anything of his doing. It is just insane and should be left alone. I have better things to do with my life.

So, I realized that I should have not analyzed anything, and definitely should have not taken anything personally nor gotten upset about anything. He lied to me, he bailed, he was selfish, he was impotent, he was rude, he was brainwashed, he was scared. Yes. So??
Even thinking about any of that even right now, as I write, makes me feel upset and hurt. It is a complete waste of my life.

So I realized I should have prayed for his well being and let everything go, as you let go misdoings of very small children. They don't know any better.

I haven't done it before for several reasons, one because there is always a danger that he smells that the air is clear and comes back when I am all happy and willing and able to be forgiving. He did that once already. The first time he bailed for good, as soon as I was fine, he showed up unannounced and bombed into my life without a single appology, and I was stupid enough to let him back in, and completely ruin my life. I think that he won't show up anymore, because the requirement on my side is very clear this time - EITHER that born again stuff OR me.

What really got me down is chastizing myself for making that mistake and accepting to go out with someone who was clearly disrespectful and selfish. I even considered marrying him. Also, I tried sleeping with him, which in my world view is a big thing, it made us "married" in some way. How could I fall pray to a con artist? How could I have been so stupid to try to come so close to a monster? That really bothered me. Something must be wrong with me. I was very upset with myself.

Now, in retrospect - what happened, happened. It is good to see where I made mistakes and what made me go astray. And, it is very good that he bailed before any deeper committment.

Interestingly, Cealo had the same message:

Do not waste your life or your life's path.
Be aware that every single event in
your life was needed. All these events
were necessary to be experienced.
You would disgrace the true meaning of
your life if you still regret or hate
any of the mistakes or faults on your path.

Gayuna Sundima

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