This week it was Xmass holidays, it was
raining a lot, I was staying home, studying a
business online course with quite high-stakes,
tricky, difficult, brand new homework which I
wasn't doing very well, in my opinion. My head
was spinning, stuck at the computer all day
long... As soon as it would stop raining, I'd
try to go out. Then my cat would come in and
I'd stay to keep her company, or I would find
"one more little thing to do - just
this" and by the time I was ready to go
out, it was raining again..... For days..... It
didn't help that a rotten wannabe boyfriend
treated me like dirt, and trying to overcome
that while feeling this self pity about the
homework seemed rather impossible. As soon as I
would say to myself: "don't think about
him!" it is the same thing as when we say:
"don't think about the pink
elephant!" because it makes us think only
of the pink elephant... And I was furious, that
dirty scoundrel was getting on fine with his
life, and I was not.... and ...
short, I went bananas.
Then, when I was
feeling like a hot chilly pepper stuck inside
my apartment, just about to kill somebody, I
had to go to a bank and to drop off some
brochures. S... was my first reaction. I didn't
want to leave the house. I was so belligerent.
I went. That went all right! The sun was
shining, there were other people, and life was
going on, with me or without me. So I decided
to participate. Life was fun after all.
on the beach that I haven't visited in a long
time, I waited to drop the brochures. Hm, that
was nice... I have been going (only) to the
beach near my house and it was nice to change.
My beach is always slanted and it is hard to
walk on it. This beach was flat (this time - it
changes all the time) and it was fun walking on
it. I dropped the brochures and went for a walk
on this wonderful newly discovered old beach. I
went all the way to the end. I swam in a big
pool of tidal water coming in and making fuzzy
swirls. Like a huge Jacuzzi. Surfers slid down
big waves on the other side of the coral reef.
A strange big yellow dog with a green collar
followed me back, letting me walk him. He
stopped to say hi to all the kids, and I was a
little worried and kept on yelling to parents:
it's not my dog! he is just following me! do
you know him?" Nobody knew him.. .We
walked all the way to the other side of the
beach, where there are big waves and I swam and
let the waves roll me back in. Then I walked
back and just stood on the sand on the
The sky was blue, the sand
was golden, the clouds fluffy, the water shiny,
moving in circles, gray green and foam white,
and the January light gave it a crispy and cool
look. The dog met some other dogs and kept on
saying hi to everyone. He really liked
I just stood there. All my
worries have melted away. It was just bliss...
The mountains far away, the rest of the shore,
the trace of green foam on golden sand,
extraordinarily beautiful, just beautiful... It
rained a little and there was a hint of
rainbow. I was planted. Not moving, letting the
wind and the sun dry my body, letting the
sprinkle refresh, breathing the salty air... Gosh....
This place is sooo beautiful....
after that I was just one happy camper, totally
mellow and totally blissed out.
A bunch of
kids and a woman ran along the beach and the
woman grabbed the yellow dog by his collar and
dragged him back towards the cars. I yelled: is
that your dog? And all the kids said: yes! we
thought he was lost forever! I said, well I
walked him from the other end of the beach. And
they thanked me. A man came out of the car and
the dog said hi to him too.
When I came
home, the kids next door (again) left their
friends' big german shepard locked inside and
she barked like crazy... Oh no... not again...
I yelled at her to shut up and of course she
barked more... How can I bring that peace from
the beach into my house?
My neighbor was
going out to church, all happy. She said she
will sit by the water as she told me she would.
She loves the water. Her daughter died last
year and this year is a new beginning for her.
I told her yesterday it's ok to curse at God.
He doesn't mind. She laughed then. Today she
politely listened to the dog complaint but
luckily I was smart enough to see she was
beaming and there was no sense in spoiling it
for her, so I shut up my mouth and just smiled
and waved bye, have fun! She waved back and
My cat snuck into my place
seemingly without any worries. The fluffy
critter is so cute and has such a wonderful
fuzzy coat, which she doesn't like to share
very much, so we are still working on the
petting part. When she was small, kids abused
her and she still remembers. I courted her a
little, telling her how pretty she is and
petting her the way she likes, barely touching
her fur, not even touching her skin. She loves
that. I was cooing and adoring her and petting
her gently. The dog next door became
That is the importance
of Great Outdoors in our life. Without it, we
are nothing. Just some fried city worms.
has to be WILD. It has to be NATURAL. It has to
be EARTHY. It has to be NAKED - no toys, no
human interventions, no hoola boola hoopla
exciting new tricks.
JUST LAND. And me.
Hanging out with God.