Monday, February 25, 2008

what does it mean to be genuinely me?

I have an older male client, old school, who cracks me up with his machoisms.
Today we talked about who we really are. I was really shooting for answers beyond physical identifications with our roles in life, our likes and dislikes, etc. He mused about the question, gave some answers related to his roles in life, and then said: "I am definitely male, that's why I like to drink, chase women, race cars, drive motorcycles, etc." His father was like that.

The way he (cockily and confidently) said it made me burst laughing. I thought of my own father and the way he is.

My father smells _all the flowers on his walk home from the beach. He likes to chase the waves, swim, go for long walks exploring the beach, .... He likes to sit quietly and draw. He loves my mother and has been faithful for more than 40 yrs. The way he looks at her even today is amazing. And is definitely and positively male, and indeed so, it is a feeling that one gets, he is a bouncy, active boy.
(Unfortunately he did show violence and anger sometimes, I am not saying he was a saint :)

What I am trying to say is that different people grow up with different idea of what being male or female means. It is sad when we just imitate what we were told as kids we should be like.

What does it really mean to be the genuine, real, ME? Regardless of what my parents/environment approved of or not. Who am I?

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