Saturday, January 3, 2009
Jim marion's book is probably the first reading for those who haven't really thought about the issue, because it describes the various levels of consciousness, i.e. how "christians" think and why.
It has some deeper truths too. But it doesn't tell you how to get there.
The even deeper stuff is in Needleman's books.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
advice from Yogananda
She said: avoid any contact with this person. Any contact with him just increases the hurt feelings.
And that's exactly how it is. Any contact with him does increase the hurt feelings. Because he is roothless, cruel, and arrongantly selfish.
This good christian is a nazi, really. To believe that people are going to hell because they are not born again christians is very very fashist. Even the logical mind of an adult should detect that something is very wrong with that. It just sounds contrary to any common sense.
Study of churchianity addiction
Churchians interpret everything as rules, and rules in the physical. If the Bible says "Jesus" then it is the actual person Jesus. It is not the Christ Consciousness. God smacks you if you disobey the rules, and rewards you if you are a good boy/girl. And the beliefs about "christians" being the only ones that are "saved" are plain fashist.
And it doesn't really matter what you do with OTHER PEOPLE. What other people think does not matter because it is just other people, not God. So if you treat others badly, then - well - too bad. If it is something really really bad, then say a prayer, ask for forgiveness from God, and MOVE ON. No questions asked.
And, it is not ok to be happy. Christians have to suffer. It is required to ponder how God is coming to get you and smack your ass.
What does all this look like in a person's life?
Monday, December 8, 2008
the "christian" idea of love: if you don't do what I tell you, you are going to hell
since Jesus has paid for my sins and pitched in for my salvation, I am fine, I am on the way to salvation. My membership in Heaven is ensured. I just need to kinda follow the rules given in Bible, but of course I will be messing up. Things that I mess up routinely I will just deny and ignore so that I can continue living comfortably. As long as I pretend to be "good", I am fine. When I mess up so bad that I notice it, I just beg the Lord for forgiveness so that he doesn't smack my butt and then I move on feeling at peace. The Lord will take care of cleaning up after me.
So, this is what it looks applied to real life: a man claims that he loves me and cannot live without me. When I confront him with the above childish views, in literally 1 millisecond he bails out of any dealing with me, and leaves feeling proud that he "defended his religion." Then he says a prayer and leaves it up to the Lord. Then he has "one bad weekend" and by next Tuesday his life is "exciting" and "full of projects". He is very proud that he is a "positive influence, bettering people's lives", and he even goes to the extent of organizing a healing center where I can work, he "envisions me working there" so he will "prove to me how worthy he is."
This is all coockoo, isn't it? But this is a "christian" in action - focused on the externals, never internal; never looking in, never in the NOW. Always afraid and worried about if they are going to hell or not. Always messing up and feeling guilty, never fixing anything but instead trying to externally do "good deeds." Well - how can anyone do good deeds if they are not solidly connected within? How can one tell what are good deeds and what are not? At the end, it just creates more mess.
I complained to this person that he never examined himself to see what happened and what role he played in it and how he actually treats his religion - as a convenient excuse allowing him to always do as he pleases. He actually saw it, maybe in the first time in his life, how he just brushes everything off and moves on WITHOUT ANY ACCOUNTABILITY. Thus he keeps on repeating the same stuff over and over and then wonders 30 yrs later how come he never changed and how come his life is not what he thought it should have been.
No accountability is the lure of the churchianism. It is the teaching based on fear - **** if you don't do what I tell you, you are going to hell. **** The threat is highly unverifiable, very ambiguous and very spookey. It is the boogeyman threat. Then there is the promise of something good that again comes later and is unverifiable - the Heaven.
Meanwhile, the only thing you need to do in order to assure membership in this elitist club is to just PRETEND that you are following the rules and being "good." There are no instructions as to how to reconcile the reality how we ARE and the unreasonably high demands of how we SHOULD be. So "christians" just plain ignore it and deny it. It is typical to go on doing charitable works, meanwhile killing each other, having terrible relationships, fallen families, destroying Nature, and so on.
Like this particular person, who didn't speak with his own kids out of bitterness, for MORE THAN 10 YEARS. He was never bothered about it until we met. I was appaled and kicked his butt to approach his kids, now adults, and try to establish communication. There was this person who was so in love with me! but couldn't speak with his own children?? Something was fishy about his idea of "love," wasn't it.
So, for more than 10 years, this person is plainly violating any "christian laws and principles" but he is attending church, praying every day, and he FEELS THAT HE HAS A DEEP AND GENUINE CONNECTION WITH "THE LORD".
My question is: WHAT KIND OF GOD IS THAT? A god that allows major abuse for 10 years but doesn't allow the person to look at his religion even for a millisecond is a rather false god, with small g. It is definitely not THE God, the One, the Allmightty, His Endlessness, The Absolute, The Great Creator, The Great Mystery, the All And Everything. The One that everything is made out of. THERE IS NOTHING ELSE BUT GOD.
That God weeps every time we are unkind and lose an opportinity to love and show our love. That God loves us truly and requires certain discipline, so that we can behave in accordance with our Instructions. IT TAKES EFFORT TO REALLY LOVE. It takes personal work, accountability, self responsibility. In short, Inner Work. Which requires regular meditation and prayer, some good guide(s) and a clear set of instructions as to how to approach it. Not a trivial task.
Churchianity just stops any of that. Because people are not given any tools as to how to really approach life, but are held up to some really high standards and threatened with fear and guilt, churchianity stuns anything higher that might be in us. It keeps a person very small, weak, and immature. It keeps a person stuck in fear and irresponsibility. That serves evil, doesn't it.
There are other ways to achieve the same thing - they are all called addictions. For example, another person I know goes out partying and has fun, and then has different lovers every several months. How is that different than churchianity? It's not, it is the SAME thing - living an asleep life and trying to make it as comfortable as possible by avoiding any Inner Work whatsoever.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
a study into churchianity
The religious guy who was after me was swearing to "love me more than anything" and that he "couldn't live without me." Well, after a few probing questions about Bible and Jesus and that whole deal, he bailed out in literally 1 second saying that that was more important to him than anything. Well.... so be it. It is rather interesting that for years he claims one thing is most important, and then it turns out that something else has been most important - his own ass, fearing hell and eagerly anticipating heaven.
It is amazing that someone can feel such a great love for someone/something one day and nothing the next day, isn't it? Also, that the person is "moving along just fine" after they bailed. And that the person believes that he is totally washed clean and started anew without even a trace of thinking about me, the object of previously oh so high love.
It makes you wonder what those "christians" consider to be love. It seems to be just a bunch of words without any feeling or committment.
Also, this idea that he is washed clean and is not even thinking about me. That's even more telling. Seems like christians live by the law of denial too.
Interesting, isn't it? By studying this one specimen, we are gaining a great insight into the whole group of people who call themselves "christian." These people vote, they make decisions, they own, they earn money, they raise children, .... They create a very scary, fake world that is really a hell.
And I have become an expert on possessions and addictions, seems like. I have never seen anything like this. Well of course I have - people who like to drink, junkies, womanizers/mennazers (or whatever it is called), permanently jobless living with parents, permanently parents' kids, partiers, fashion addicts, permanently traveling, etc etc. I just haven't met this particular kind of addiction before. Now I have seen it. Wow, this one is quite one of the worst, actually, because this guy actually has no heart whatsoever, just a little juke box that plays one tune he learned in church and that he keeps on parroting, while meanwhile he does whatever he wants, stepping all over others and being selfish and cruel. And he votes - for anti gay marriages, for .... This kind is really one of the worst because it holds jobs and has money and arrogantly and self centerdly votes - for cruelty, denial, segregation, etc etc and all under the pretense of being "good."
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
sweet talking churchians vs Oneness of God
First, he can fake very well, and sweet talk it very well. There is a song: "the only boy who could ever teach me was the son of a preacherman" and that is completely true. That's how he slipped under the radar with me and kept me talking with him for a while. Until the truth came out :) I was uneasy and cautios from the start, because something just didn't seem right, and now I see clearly what it is, it is exposed in plain view.
Churchians are masters of faking it. Because their religion has things as "good" and "bad" and they are not supposed to do anything "bad", they are masters in fakiness and pretense and covering up. Second, churchians are plain evil. The world views that they have are about segregation and elitism, totally contrary to the Oneness of God.
Here are some world views they have:
- jesus suffered for our sins so we don't have to do anything - bible is the book of rules
- jesus is THE ONLY WAY to God
- we are just behaving now so that we can have eternal life
- when something is considered "bad" we pretend we are not doing it and we still do it
- the only people who go to god are the people who accept jesus
and the puncher: THE ONLY WAY TO BECOME A CHILD OF GOD IS TO ACCEPT BIBLE AND JESUS AND CHURCH TEACHINGS.
Wow. I take being a child of God for granted. I am a child of God, period. There is nothing that nobody has to force me to "pay" to be what I already am! By nature. By default!!!! Because, everything is God. So, me, other people, animals, Nature, plants, things, Moon, Sun, stars, Earth, ... everything, everything is God. THERE IS NOTHING ELSE BUT GOD.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
churchianity vs Christianity; and how I met Jesus the first time
The only good thing that came out of yelling at that brain dead churchian was me remembering Jesus. As soon as I did, I just had that Buddha smile on my face. I completely relaxed and felt very very happy and strong inside. It was nice to reconnect with Jesus again. This time it felt very different, like a very familiar friend.
I haven't Worked with Jesus directly for years. Long time ago, when I was an atheist and very "normal" person going to graduate school, married to a "normal" guy, and living a "normal" life - well, everything fell apart. I got rather sick because of stress (and why is yet another story). So anyways, I could barely move out of bed. Modern medicine had no clue what was wrong with me. And that's how I started exploring alternatives.... Which meant a lot of plundering about through all kinds of new age stuff... Like working with a network chiropractor who used kineziology and a very cooky "healer" friend who read auras, some other cooky kineziologists, reiki, crystals, aromatherapy, ...
And eventually ended up styduing Course in Miracles, which is supposedly channeled by Jesus. Up to that point, Jesus was a foreign word in my vocabulary, the only way I ever would mention him was if someone had the "jesus slippers", which was the slang word in serbian for slip-ons.
Even though I was reading this book written by Jesus, I was still not into God or anything like that. My family was severely persecuted by church during the World Wars and both sides of my family spit on church stuff. They all said: we don't believe in god (meaning: church god) but we do believe that there is Something Higher out there. I saw with my own eyes how opressive and stupid church was, and I stayed away from it as much as possible.
A Course in Miracles was more about psychology, to me; which it is, actually, although it describes some fundamental spiritual truths. It dissects how ego works vs how Spirit works. There were words in there like Holy Spirit, and since I have never gone to church nor read any christian literature, it all made sense to me in a very natural way, as related to that "something Higher" that my family talked about. Jesus was very cool guy and the book started to gradually make sense, even though at first it was all like greek to me - because the IDEAS were foreign, as I later realized. It wasn't because English was difficult. So, anyways, up to that point I really became a new age atheist.
So, one very very early morning, I just could not sleep and so I snuck out of bed where my then-husband was sleeping. It is like 4am, barely light. And there I am in the living room, alone on the sofa, reading the book on how hospitalized children in LA used a visualization to "clean" their brains, and how they got better from doing that. So, I wanted to try that out. I was JUST ABOUT to start visualizing washing my insides, when Jesus appeared. He was very very small, maybe 10 inches, and he was dressed as a window washer, in a blue jumpsuit, and he had a big mop and a bucket. He was happily whistling a tune. And he was floating just in front of my eyes. Well, he was a very happy chap and I could only giggle when I saw him, his joy was infectious. At 4am, a little live window washer winking and floating in front of me - physically - I had my eyes open - just somehow seemed very natural and just FINE. I was very taken by him. He had this joy that was just very convincing and very real and I somehow totally trusted him.
He offered to wash me up and I said sure! The whole conversation happened without any loud words, it was as if I could "hear" his words inside me, or better yet, sense what he was saying. Without a word, I knew exactly what he said, and vice versa. It was like ... hm.. telepathy, we were reading each others' minds.
So, off he went, cleaning, and whistling as he went along. A lot of dark water came down as he washed and scrubbed. Then he'd rinse and go all over, and more dark water came down, and eventually it all became clear. Then he packed up his washing gear, winked at me, and said goodbye and disappeared.
I had a sense that Jesus himself worked with me for a short while afterwards, until I accepted the idea that he is real and that he works for God. I became a believer in Jesus and God. After that point, he never worked with me directly anymore, I had a feeling that I was given to his "subordinates" for further coaching. That is how I started working with Yogananda and Grandfather.
And I wondered why Jesus appeared? If anything, I was intellectually prone to zen buddhism, tibetan buddhism, and sufism. That's what I read and thought about. There was nothing real from the Christian side. But it made sense why Jesus showed up and not Buddha - I was not a buddhist at heart. I was a westerner and thus prone to Christianity. Period. No qualms about that! Later it made even more sense, because Jesus is one of the gurus of Paramahansa Yogananda, who is my guru, so - Jesus *is* one of my gurus.
I haven't seen Jesus for many years, until the next time, when I became so ill I almost died. Then I saw his picture in a christian store window in this small sleepy backlog town. I bought the picture, and put it in my living room, and it helped to connect with it through all the trials I went through. It lasted for several years... Until I chucked my entire life on East Coast and came to Hawaii.
So, I haven't really worked with Jesus directly since then.
He is still in my living room, that same image. Perhaps I should get another image... I had an image of pregnant Mother Mary, and I gave it to my mom and got another image of Divine Mother. This image has Jesus as a child in her arms. It's difficult to find a good image of Jesus. Most images have him totally maimed and sad and serious. His face should be joyous, peaceful and soft.
Many years later, I sat under a boddhi tree and connected with Buddha and became buddies with him. In my house, I have Buddha and Jesus and a few other saints I adore. I like Quan Yin. Somehow I always liked her. I became her convinced fan when I heard the story of her life: she was just reaching enlightment and going up when she heard a child crying, and she turned around and came back to help. So she lost her enlightment because she was still needed here. Many saints do that kind of work. Since I had a very difficult childhood and survived by being helped by such invisible friends, I totally cherish what Quan Yin did for us kids. Thanks! I also like Divine Mother, for some reason, I think that comes from Yogananda and my mom.
Most of the time, I try to talk directly to God. Several years ago, both of my mentors, Yogananda and Grandfather, told me to not get stuck on them, because they are only human, and to DEFINITELY go straight to God. So I took their advice seriously and always try to talk with God directly. It is quite ok, God is a nice guy. I like hanging out with God. Perhaps one of these days I might say that I love him.
Last night, because of my brain dead churchian "friend", I was doing some research on true Christianity. Gurdjieff work claims that Christianity existed way before Christ, and that sounds right to me. There is no way that God wasn't known before Jesus! It just doesn't make sense. People KNEW. God makes sure people know.
So, I had some opportunity to think about God, Christ and what it means, and I took the opportunity. As soon as I started thinking about Jesus, I had a feeling that he came - well, what this means is that his presence, the vibe, is felt, it is like hooking into something higher and very energizing.
So I hooked up with Jesus again this morning, and that was very nice. He/it is a very nice ... whatever he is :) spirit, presence, awareness, guy, ...
Jesus is accessible from anywhere. I just need to think of him and he is there.
It would be easier to call him in when there are at least two of us thinking of him. Finding people to do this with is a tricky business. If I lived closer to Yogananda's temples, I'd go there.
I would never go into a church. Church to me feels very very heavy and oppressive. It is a bunch of asleep people doing asleep things. To sit there for 1-2 hrs just listening to someone preach (typically: bs) is insane. Even Gurdjieff meetings are to be endured because people are people, however, in G meetings, people really try to put some effort in, and it is understood that we are there to do Inner Work, and everyone participates, so it is a much more interactive and positive experience. G work does not really get into prayer and God, and that's a bummer. It does get into meditation, so it is more of a buddhist-like experience.
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