Sunday, June 28, 2009

I like, I don't like: seeing clearly

First I was thinking about my conversation with the Born Again Ignorant practitioner from my dance class. I actually went on a date with another Born Ignorant, so I am very familiar what that brand of religious dogma. He was claiming he was in love with me and would give "anything he owns just to have me", he hang around for 2 years and wanted to marry me and move to Hawaii, but as soon as we touched into his religion (which is a huge issue because he TALKS about everything oh so high but never DOES it nor feel it) - well, as soon we questioned that wanna-be christianity, he left in a jiffy, and claimed he totally forgot me in TWO DAYS. That's a big switch, isn't it? Plus, he was completely high because he acted like a "good christian" and he strutted around proudly telling people that "he is a christian."

If your religion can make you forget someone over a weekend because you have to stay a good "christian", then what kind of "religion" is it? I say it is the worst case of dogma and brainwashing and it forbids you to feel and to be honest with yourself. It is amazing that an adult human being would fall for that kind of brainwashing. They are completely addicted. Also, what kind of "human being" can believe in something like that? Only someone very very low on the evolution level.

Finally those dots got connected in my head and the whole case is clear. If this person can finally see what his "religion" is doing to him, perhaps there is some hope for his salvation.


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As I was driving to Honolulu on a beautiful Saturday morning, I was noticing car "logos". Am not sure how it is called in English :) You know, the little "badge" that shows car manufacturer. Honda's logo looks like H, Ford says "Ford", BMW has a circle with black and blue squares, Mercedes has a tri-fork in a circle, Toyota has a symbol, Lexus looks like Nike-like shaped "L" in a circle, etc.

And so: all those brand names are prominently displayed on the back of the car. Interesting. People like branding. Furthermore, humans like brand prominently displayed - so everyone can see you are wearing LaCosta or Ralf Lauren or whatever the brands are these days.

Keeping up with the Joneses and strutting your brand around is a part of owning the car, for majority of the people, otherwise those little logos won't be so prettily displayed.

Just like people put tatoos on top of their butt. I was thinking how car manufacturers and tatoos are related :) Humans got to like that kind of display. It is interesting what corporate advertising can get people used to.

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Then, as I was driving and looking around and noticing some houses I have never seen before although I have driven that road for years, I realized a big thing:

my mind was just resting on various "objects" and *** I NEVER REALLY SAW THEM ***. The only thing that happened as my eyes rested on an object was my reaction: I LIKE IT or I DO NOT LIKE IT. I never really saw the thing I was looking at!!!

So, looking without any preferences, I was actually able to SEE houses, gardens, details that I have never noticed before.

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That way of thinking was very fruitful because I started looking like that into internal things in my life, and was able to let go of an old enemy. Being of competitive nature, I love to "get even" and I can be very revengeful even after a long time, however it costs me too much to carry that around. Also, I already "won". I got what I wanted way back then anyways, I have proven a long time ago that my case was legit. (The person was making fun of me and bullying me. I woved that I was going to make them eat it. They did - not because I did anything to them, but because I became "popular" so their opinion that I was lame was just publicly refuted.) I just let it go. It is actually very simple to let things go.

From my personal experience, it seems to be easy to let things go when we are sure in ourselves, that our case is "legit." Then we don't depend on any opinions or approval of others.

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Now I need to work on letting go of this Born Impotent ex-date. A part of me loves to snivel about how terrible experience that was. Sure it was. That was one of the worst dates I ever had, because there was some good parts about it and then there was the totally evil presence of that religious brain sucker. I was dating an addict. Another part of me is completely happy he is gone, understands his complete spiritual and life impotence due to this addiction of his, and feels forgiving and compassionate and wishes him well. If this experience doesn't help him see it, nothing will. He "loved" someone so much and forgot them in 2 days because his religion mandated so. Wow.

For me, the lesson is to trust myself more. I kinda knew this, I felt it, and I should have not interacted with him. Interacting with shit only can make you dirty and smelly and feeling like throwing up. Thus: avoid shit. As simple as that. As soon as it smells, run.

We learn as we go. I am very good with following the rule above with things I am familiar with, for example I won't go out with a womanizer or someone with chemical addictions, because I KNOW for sure how detrimental they are. I just flirted briefly with a womanizer once and then he did his number with someone else and even that little was a very nausiating scary experience, a clear violation of any human dignity. Plus, he must be an STD case. Another guy who smokes pot and gets drunk (yet has a job and a functional life) was after me, and he is nice but no thanks! Two times as I even briefly thought about "hm, is he it???" I had nightmares about drugs, which I never do, and it is clear that any closer dealing with him would be extremely dangerous. He would make anyone feel very trashy. When drugs take over, he is gone, and in a very bad way. He would always make any woman feel like a very unimportant second thing in his life.

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So, that's all very interesting stuff, being able to SEE CLEARLY, without any "I LIKE THIS" or "I DISLIKE THIS."

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Wednesday, October 22, 2008

getting clear; clarity

I was ranting and raging about the brain dead churchian, I felt very offended by his spitting at more consious humanity and his treatment of humans and God. I was wondering - why?

He said things like: Yogananda and Dalai Lama are not children of God and need to find a savior asap because they haven't accepted the bible christianity and Jesus as their savior;
that he understands how his belief that only his group is children of god is dissing all other people but too bad; and so on.

OK, so "Dalai Lama needs to be saved"... "Paramahansa Yogananda needs to be saved".... "Gurdjieff needs to be saved". ... How stupid is bible christianity?? How is it possible to be this disrespectful and brain dead? And plain violent... As if there are no saints but bible-based ones. THat is blashphemy. God is ONE, and so people are free to walk to God any way they choose.

The matter is that this brain dead churchian was physically and mentally almost dead when I first met him. We were classmates and became friends because he initiated it, he liked me, and I saw that he needed help. He was really in a sad state... I Worked with him and steered him into some more productive directions, and he bloomed. When he bloomed fine enough, that's when I noticed him as a potential mate. But it never worked out, because he kept on being stuck on the churchianity. And that oozes out of him as something scary. There is just something hard, cold, and evil that is inside and is felt as very uneasy creepiness. He mellowed a lot in time, but never to the end.

And that's why it really bugged me - this person was truely saved by contact with the concsious side of humanity. People like Yogananda and Gurdjieff saved his life, LITERALLY. In the time I knew him, exposure to these ideas and people who practice them made a lasting positive effect, that everyone noticed. And at the end - this person still spits on the hand that made him well in mere 2 years, and goes to side with his nazi separatist elitist church that almost killed him for 30 yrs. He is simply brainwashed. To the point that he is disrespecful and ungrateful.

Also, I realized that my own sense of uneasiness is extremely accurate. I learned to trust myself more. If I am angry, it means I am violated. If I feel uneasy, something is off.

Also, the whole encounter with this brain dead asleep thing was educational to show me where I am different. I took for granted so many things... thinking that many people have something in them that is normal to me. No, they do not.... I am somehow wired differently, with more ... hm... how shall I say it? tenacity, ability to take the truth, and grow.

For example, my idea of One God and everyone being a child of God, vs this brain dead person thinking that he has to belong to some special club and give them away his whole being in order to gain title of child of god. And that the title stays, no matter what he does, and the only thing that matters is life after death. That's why he belongs to this club. Jesus did all the work, so once you accept Jesus and get into the club, that's it, it's all done and set. And if you don't, then you go to hell, period.

My idea is that I live NOW, to the best of my ability, and keep on trying to Grow, by doing Inner Work and meditation and prayer. That spiritual life is lived today, right NOW, every moment, in mundane life. That my beliefs are shown through care, compassion, service, every day. Simple things, like listening to each other, taking others into consideration, doing my duties cheerfully and to the best of my ability, thinking about God as much as possible.

That all are children of God by default, God is All and Everything. There is nothing else but God.

Some children of God are problem children :) some are immature, some are mature, etc. But we all are under One God, indivisible and Whole. There are saints and sages of all religions. And it has to be that way, there are different kinds of people and a spiritual practice to suit everyone. All roads eventually lead to God. Some are dead ends and one has to jump to another path, some are slow, some are long, some are fast, ....

So it is helpful to me to more clearly see myself in comparison to this brain dead thing. On Earth, we are all a little crazy. My particular form of craziness seems to be what saints and sages and mystics advocate....

I am a mystic, a metaphysician, and a healer. Not everyone is, surprise surprise :) :) :) I thought they would be :) somehow what I believe in makes so much sense and is Truth. I guess I must be remembering God somehow, somehow I didn't entirely forget like some other people. It is amazing how much some people forgot. They forgot beyond decency. What the brain dead churchian believes is contrary to anything moral or decent - e.g. dissing other people as unworthy. Dissing Dalai Lama or Yogananda as incompetent is plain rude.

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