Thursday, March 26, 2009

Razor's edge

I met someone of Tony Robins school recently and we had a clash, because I tend to believe in what Rick wrote above. Except that yes, illness and other trauma CAN be a sign to reform and change, and in my experience definitely are, to those people who are on a spiritual path. It is time to slow down and regroup and completely reorganize.

Anyways, Antony Robins guy was telling me I was downplaying myself. If I want a house, why don't I just follow my dream and get one? Any single one I want! I was saying - well, there are houses, maybe even one house, that is meant for me, and I need to find that one. He was saying no! I should have whatever I want. I said: but what if I want something out of my head, and not out of my heart? How can I reliably tell the difference? Also, why should I want a castle? I personally would love a small house with a biiig yard. It seemed to me that he was just greedy and justifying his greed using some nice new age language.

Also, I was agreeing with him - most of us, including me, are not "playing it big" as we should. It doesn't mean that we get castles and money, no, not "big" in Antony Robinson sense. "Big" in sense of daring to follow our dreams and living our lives to the fullest.

I spoke with Rick today and he scolded me for complaining. He said: "do not complain even if you have a reason to. Don't complain even internally." It made me think. Again, it is a fine line - because, I was complaining about something completely legitimately bad that needed to be taken care of. For example, the economic situation we are in is a legit bad case on the agenda. The wind and noise around my house is an issue for me. HOWEVER, how we deal with it matters. I NEED TO TAKE ACTION WITHOUT COMPLAINING. I need to just act. Cut if necessary, and all without complaining. Like a surgeon. Complaining seems to just dilute the energy. If the wind and noise bothers me - move. But do not complain while I am still here.

Complaining is always a sign to something way deeper, that's what I feel. It has to be listened to and found out what and why is complaining. What is in pain, what hurts, what is disconnected from God? What action needs to be taken to remedy the situation? Is it a kid with a scratched knee that needs to be kissed to feel better, or is it a chronically bitter sour puss trying to kill it for everyone, and even intentionally. Or both. It is a red light and needs to be checked out.

Happiness is also a red light and needs to be checked out. It shows that something works, that something is good for me. Like African dance - congolesecamp.org made me very happy. Kind community.

---this was posted on Rick Jarrow's blog, rickjarrow.com

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