Monday, August 25, 2008

White winged buffalo massage

A lady came to see me, and I asked what shall we work on. She said that her friend had a great lomilomi massage and she felt something release and leave her calves and she cried, and the therapist told her that was anger from her childhood. So, my client wanted a similar experience to release her old stuff. I understood her desire to have this freeing experience, and also I suspected her desire to have this "special" shortcut that she could talk about later.

I asked her: so where do you feel that old stuff? She said she didn't know.
I asked: how will you know that it got released? She said she wouldn't know.
I asked: how did that therapist know it was childhood anger? Who is so mighty that they can see so deeply and be so sure and even tell the patient so confidently?
I asked was the friend transformed by this experience?

I explained that good bodywork certainly releases stuff, and it is possible to cry and have this exalted experience, but that it is not guaranteed as each massage is different for each person and every time. It is also possible to have a quiet enjoyable experience and just feel happy and somehow slightly different, and that's what we are really after. This slight, immesurable, happy transformation inside. No matter how we get there. Maybe with crying, maybe with laughing, maybe with falling asleep, maybe with deeply relaxing and enjoying, maybe with talking. In any case, we are somehow transformed, deeply and irreversibly.

This transformation is something that you don't have to brag about. Something that is not told to friends as a story. Soemthing that doesn't have labels and scenarios we are SO sure about - aha this is childhood anger. Aha, this is divorce. Aha, this is...

As soon as we start labeling, it is all in our heads. And that is just pouring from "empty into nothing" as we say in Serbian. The head talks to itself.

We try to stay open and keep transforming, like a caterpillar into a butterfly.

Attemting to be in the moment, to be Real, to be genuine. No drama, no labeling, no judging, no stories. Just As It Is.

What am I really like, right now?

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