Wednesday, June 10, 2009
for M in hot pink
How do I know?
Here is an intriguing book: "I slept with a born again "christian" " and then in small letters in the subtitle: "unmarried." How's that for a catchy title?
For me, contact with an organized religion was a terrible experience, I felt very violated. The members of such organizations are incapable of treating you properly when it comes to a closer contact. It was terrifying to realize that this creepy thing can be called a "human being". Such darkness, very scary. It felt like very close contact with something monstrous. Indeed, the religious specimen that was my boyfriend is a creep. What he believes in is monstrous and very detrimental to anything that comes in contact with it. It is like coming in contact with a breath of death, something that just kills anything live on contact.
There are many ways to come in closer contact with creepy. Business provides ample opportunities, as well as relationships. For example, someone who flirts in front of you and/or cheats behind your back, someone who gets drunk and stoned and stupid, someone who beats you up, someone who calls you names, someone who never spends time with you, .... Those are all very creepy and to be avoided.
This article will deal with the type of creepy related to organized religion. It is the kind of creepy where they try to smokescreen it and convince you that they love you and mean you well although they don't show it, you don't feel it, and it is obvious that something is very wrong about it. The kind of creepy where foreigners come in and redo your entire traditional life because it was "bad" and give you a whole new set of "good" and ruin your culture, your family, your country, your core.
My family has suffered from religious persecution during wars, so I am very well aware of what organized religion stands for. Rigid and judgemental belief systems of organized religion are behind a lot of destruction, wars, strife, exploitation of people and Nature. Every organized religion is guilty of this; relying on immaturity of people to keep them stuck in fear and thus under control. And in a very evil way, nudging people into harming each other under the pretense of religious supremacy. Organized religion is just an excuse, a cover up, for major indulgence in anything egoistical.
The path to God is something else. It requires independence, true cooperation based on education and compassion, and thus it is based on a lot of Inner Work. Who teaches that? Only metaphysical and mystical schools and saints and smaller less known branches of organized religion, like Tibetan Buddhism or sufism. Perhaps some practitioners of large organized religion get there, like Theresa of Avilla, but it is in spite of what they are taught, seems like.
I was lucky never to have met a religios dogma first hand before. Before I knew what this creep stood for, I knew that there was something wrong about him because he was not genuine and natural and at ease, there was no warmth and friendliness around him, he couldn't show love and receive and give it. He couldn't relate on a deep level, he was always talking how much he loved me but in reality he couldn't even give me 5 minutes of true attention or kindness, and any forgiveness was way beyond him even for simple stuff. It was always all about him. He was a profound coward and a weakling, and he covered it up by talking very high about himself. Yet I was even considering marrying the guy. Such is the power of sex. It blinds us to so many things.
Someone like that cannot give any attention to anything else but himself because he is too busy being afraid for his own ass. Is he in good standing with god or not? that's the only thing that matters. You, me, Nature, children, cats, NOTHING matters. The only thing that matters is his ass.
We all have our own ways to hide behind something that makes our ass special. For some people, it is drugs, or working too much, or sleeping around, or being a martyr suffering, or overeating, drinking, or acting the life of the party, or being really prim and proper, or whatever. We all have our own ways of avoiding ourselves, others, and God. Avoiding being in the NOW and trying to hide behind something external that makes us look special to others.
This particular brand of people called "christians" uses very specific excuses such as bible, jesus and god. I write it all in small letters because their bible, jesus and god are all fake, plastic things, drug for the masses. They are such cheap imitations of the real thing that we cannot even compare them to the real thing. There is absolutely nothing in common. These plastic idols are actually completely mad made based on ego, and thus completely opposite than what God really is. They are drugs to feed the ego.
For any real deep relationship, spiritual practice is a must and Inner Work is required. Someone who is on drugs and into ego is not into Inner Work at all. So, it's either drugs or relationship.
So, I said that he was either quitting this religious dogma which makes him just fake being good and actually continue being a moron, or I refuse to have anything to do with him. He "choose Jesus Christ" without even blinking, in one millisecond, the same guy that was singing to me how "he would give his life and anything he owns just to have me." SOOOO much for that. Well, that was on Friday. Next week, he said that "he was kinda low during the weekend, but then started doing charitable events and helped so many people and then his life took off into an exciting direction and he was happy ever after. He felt very proud that he defended his religion, thinking how he did like old christians did when they were forced into gladiator rings with lions and still stood for christianity. He was proudly telling everyone he is a christian. Then next week he saw nude Jennifer Aniston on yahoo web page, so he thought about how she dared to be so free and then where in his life he wasn't free, and then somehow he remembered me for about 2 minutes but then he was in his work vehicle and they came to the office, he got out of the car and then forgot about it, and hasn't thought about me or what happened between us ever since."
THIS IS WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE TO BE A PRACTICING BORN IGNORANT. Yeah. I was speechless listening to this. Can you believe that an adult is this immature, and even so stupid to say it straight into my face, and even believes in how grand and good he is and how much he is following god.
This "christian" is a selfish rude creep. Incapable of any love, kindness or compassion. A master at lieing to himself and others. So good at convincing himself into anything that is along the party lines.
Unbelievable amount of self deception. If he did love me, it would be impossible to forget me so easily. If he indeed could forget this "love" so easily just because his religion told him so, then his religion is a dogma that keeps people brainwashed. In either case, he LIED. His actions proved that he did not love me and that his religion is a dogma.
His ideas of himself as "good" are complete fantasy.
In reality, the guy is truly impotent. He can talk high and he cannot do anything real.
After the whole experience first-hand learning about this particular brand of insanity called "christianity" there are many comments I can make.
First, as my muslim friend said, the very word "born again" implies that there was something wrong with them, and somehow the church fixed them. Indeed, the whole religion is based on the premise that something is wrong with you. Then you feel GUILT and thus let any creep tell you exactly what to do, and you read some moldy old book called Bible, written by who knows whom and when, and you read it LITERALLY and take it literally as THE truth. Complete brainwashing.
It would not be possible unless the person felt that there was something wrong with them and somehow this church thing made them special and worthy. So this "christianity" is made for people with very low self esteem and a lot of guilt.
Probably people with low IQ too. How is it possible to believe so naively???
To ignore facts that Bible was rewritten through centuries, they took out stuff like karma and meditation, etc. There were religious councils that decided what to keep in and what to add to bible.
Probably people who were somehow damaged and are not capable of venturing into some higher thinking out of the box. This christian box is a safe place - it is tiny and smug and the rules are very clear. It is easy to follow these few rules and never think for oneself.
Probably people who are used to being abused. There is something intrinsically wrong with someone telling you exactly what you should think and do. There is something intrinsically wrong with living life that never leads to any positive influence but only leaving a trail of destruction. There is something intrinsically wrong with someone telling you that you are good and other people are bad. There is something intrinsically wrong with having rigid rules and literal interpretation. IT FEELS STIFFLING, IT FEELS OFF. How come those people do not notice anything fishy???
Second, I would rename this religion as "born ignorant" or "born impotent". Because it is, both.
Ignorant because they don't think for themselves. They just hide behind some club that promises eternal glory and salvation from hell - both things that are completely and absolutely unverifiable. It is really like the boogey man that scares little children - it appears real and you cannot sleep because of it, you are terrified, but you can never prove anything. The whole "christianity" is based on the notion of boogeyman coming to get you and church saving your unworthy weak little ass.
Ignorant also because the whole thing is based on being condescending - I am in the club, you are not, ha ha ha!!! tut tut tut!!! I am better than you!!! and the Bible said so!!!
If someone can say that Dalai Lama is going to hell because he didn't accept Jesus Christ, that all Buddhist and all other religions practitioners and even their saints are all going to hell - AND THE BIBLE SAID SO!!! SO IT IS DEFINITELY TRUE!!! - well - what is the IQ of such a person? Below being called a moron. They haven't thought for themselves even one single thought. Someone gave them thoughts to think and they are dutifully parroting them.
This creep even tried to convert me, he kept on working secretly on it and told me that he kept on praying for it and imagining me with my hand on the bible. This ass kisser never even mentioned he was practicing his devil god worshiping. He kept it secret because he KNEW that there is something wrong with it and I won't like it. They all know that what they believe in is strange to other people, and for a good reason. Any time we have that feeling of shame, it is for a good reason!
Impotent because they rely on Jesus having done the work for them so they are saved! job done! now we can relax, say a few prayers and scoot comfortably. If they do any harm, they say a prayer and they are done. Very easy god to believe in! There is no remorse, no Inner Work, no contemplation, no effort, nothing. Just TALK GOOD and you are gonna be fine!
They just talk talk talk. They never think, feel, or do. They just talk. They talk about something called "Jesus Christ", they talk about "love", they talk about "kindness and forgiveness and compassion". But they never ever feel anything, or do anything along those lines. Actually, they are just the opposite, there is no real love or compassion or real Jesus in there at all. They just take take take and plow over anything.
It takes so much effort to be able to be truly kind and compassionate, it requires dealing with all the internal muck inside a person and transcending it. That is a lot of WORK! Which a "christian" is completely incapable of doing, because they are specifically trained NOT to do it. The entire teaching is totally against any inner contemplation and observation and Work. They are trained to talk high and to pretend that they are good. If the reality doesn't fit this idea, then they pretend that it does. They are never in the NOW, observing as it is. The reality of life shows that they cannot love or forgive or whatever. All their "goodness" is all in their heads as fantasy.
because, the whole "christian" thing is based on I MY MINE. I want my ass saved, and I don't care at what cost. I will despise you, I will kill you, I won't respect you, I will do whatever I want FOR ME. I am special, I am in the club, and I am going to make sure I get my share. I am a child of god and I am going to heaven. Because I say that I belong to the club, I automatically get all those privileges.
The whole thing is a super exercise in sheer selfishness and self conceit and complete and utter fakiness.
This "christian" lives in utmost fear, waiting for some god to spank him if he is bad and to reward him if he is good. But he can cheat behind god's back and if the god doesn't really see it and if he keeps on TALKING about how devoted he is, then everything is ok!
THIS IS LIKE BEING A KID WITH A VERY NASTY TEACHER. As long as you keep you beebee gun and the sling under your desk and as long as the teacher doesn't catch you using them - use them secretly in class, during recess, after school when nobody is watching - and as long as you pretend to look attentive and listening in class - everything is ok and you get an A and a "good boy" badge to take home and parade in front of your parents and neighbors.
And you know what is amazing? That there are adults walking around thinking and believing this. Unbelievable!!! What is the maturity level of such person? low....
And how about:
The notions of world brotherhood, of all people being intrinsically same, of all true teachings being intrinsically the same, of the need for thinking for oneself and testing everything for oneself, of the need to really Experience and Live and Open.
The idea of GOD AS ONE,
*** THERE IS NOTHING ELSE BUT GOD ***
Finer and deeper pondering, finer understanding, comprehension of the Higher meanings in everything. For example, Christ is a certain **energy** of kindness and compassion that all true spiritual teachings connect to. In that sense, yes, you cannot get to God unless you accept Christ. But you can accept this unconditional love and kindness if you are Buddhist, Hindu, etc. They just don't call it "Christ." They call it "loving kindness and compassion." It is the same thing.
It is time the humanity starts thinking more along those lines. Because, they are true. How do I know? People who are true saints said so. Also, I don't know how, but somehow I Remember. It is all very fresh in my mind. I suppose that's why people say I "came wired as a healer" and am "different". Consequently, hanging around asleep humans can feel like being around trampling mad elephants. How come they all forgot??? They didn't forget. They must remember something. They just need a reminder. We all need reminders. I need reminders, you need reminders. That's what true spiritual teaching is for - to keep on reminding us to Remember.
I talked with a nun of Self Realization Fellowship, which is Paramahansa Yogananda's organization, about this. She said: just avoid any "born agains", that stuff is too ingrained in him and he is hopeless. ANY CONTACT WITH SUCH PERSON JUST INCREASES HURT FEELINGS. Stay away. He has never treated you properly and never will. Just tell him that you will pray for him and that you both go separate ways.
I thought about this. This born again ignorant really believed he was in close contact with god. Although he was walking around doing really stupid things, like going to Hooters and a lot worse stuff, he still believed he was tight with god and prayed daily.
I thought about it like God would. God probably takes all this as the best this person has to offer. The person is like a kid - his understanding and abilities are very limited, his maturity is low, his experience is nonexistant. because he is just 2 years old and there is nothing anyone can do about it. Only time will make him grow.
So God must accept anything from this person graciously, like we would accept a hand-made scribbled watercolor and hang it on our fridge as the greatest artwork ever. Indeed, it is - for this kid, that is their best right now. They proudly present it to us and expect us to praise it endlessly and tell them how great they are and how much we love them.
So God must appreciate at least some of the antics of this born ignorant.
However, as my mother said, what this man practices and believes must make the real Jesus weep, for it is very detrimental to Life. This man keeps on bean counting and dividing Life and killing it. He has no true Respect for ALL OF GOD's CREATION.
Something very funny happened, I actually forgave him all this. I suppose finally I understood that I was dealing with a kid and it made it into something light and forgivable. It is actually extremely funny and comical that a hot lively thing like me ended up with a born impotent red neck. It is like trying to get two arch-enemies together. His whole life is based on lies and ego, and my whole life is based on following something esoteric and mystical permeated with light. Our Native teachers paired us up, two people looking for God in their own ways, two very horny long-time single hermits, and it is very very very comical and diabolically designed, and it worked!!! actually it worked. I thank everyone for playing such a beautiful part in this romantic black comedy.
And, if you have any aspirations of having a true and deep relationship, stay away from "christians". Stay away from anyone who is committed to any kinds of "drugs" and escaping the NOW. The person has to be able to be in the NOW because that is the only place where two people can meet. Then the person can treat you properly - with respect and appreciation.
Labels: fake christianity
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