Saturday, July 19, 2008

reasons to run away from God

SOme personal things kept me very aware this week, I just finished a bout of black comedy. Working dilligently on the assignment of my friend Dr. Todd, I tried to have a relationship with a willing guy, who is - a devout Christian. Well, Dear Lord Jesus talked to him and told him that he is very displeased about sleeping before marriage, and the guy got majorly scared and ran away as fast as he could... that should be a good scene for a movie.

Seems like such species will use Church as an excuse. To them, God is like a Big Daddy, that one must appease in order to save one's ass. Those people live in fear that God will get them. So they try to be "good." They *pretend* they ARE "good." It is very delusional and very immature.

Which made me ponder about my own beliefs. As an atheist, seems like I downplay God and do whatever I want, and then remember that there must be something that can bail me out and then expect God to fix it and take care of me. Which is also immature.

The only valid relationship with God is something which is responsible and responsive - where I do my part to the best of my ability and keep communication open and collaborate with the Divine Friend Father Mother God, the Great Creator, the Great Mystery.

There is nothing as scary as working together with God. That meditation time seems like going into anihilation and we try to avoid it at any cost, run away into - whatever - get a cup of coffee, work hard, sleep, become a devout Christian, try hard to get enlightened, etc.

So, when we do our daily mediatition asking God to help us see ourselves clearly, we need to expect this. There is a part of us that wants to find a good excuse and run away. Any excuse is a good excuse to run away.

Can I have the strength, the courage, the tenacity, to let myself have my ego exposed to me? Can I have the strength, the courage, the tenacity, to just stay there and meet God?

Try it... after you meditated for a long long time and are ready. Good luck.

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